Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Selena Writes: If I Only Had a Heart...

Today has been a weird day. It started with my tweet:
@SelenaMKI: Woke up today feeling like the Tin Man: can't move, can't reach oil can, under the influence of poppies and not able to get to the Wizard!
See I spent a few moments trying to be witty and descriptive at the same time and suddenly the Tin Man comparison came to my mind. I remembered the scene were Dorothy first comes across the Tin Man in the forest, all rusted and frozen, unable to reach his oil can, unable to move. Unfortunately for me, even with a little "oil" I still feel rusty and move with a lot of "creaking" each and every day. This is even more true right now that I am experiencing a flare-up of my fibromyalgia symptoms; akin to the Tin Man trapped outside in the rain and starting to become frozen in place.

See the more I explain this, the more this metaphor just seems to work for my situation.

Then the kicker: I am waiting for Robert in Costco this evening as he searches for these cheese filled cheese crackers that he is craving. I decide to turn idle time into productive time by checking the voice mail messages on my cellphone. And there it is, another Tin Man reference for the day. This one is about my heart

When I had the special MRI study back at the end of March to diagnose
thoracic outlet syndrome, there was an incidental finding that the left ventricle of my heart might be enlarged. I placed a call last week to the oncologist at the UCLA Livestrong Survivorship Clinic asking her to review the MRI study to see if there was anything that needed follow-up. Sure enough, I got a call today saying she and my cardiologist reviewed the MRI and want me to have an echocardiogram and then a follow-up appointment with the cardiologist.

Truth be told, I am a little freaked out. I know a lot of long-term cancer survivors who have cardiac late effects, but was feeling lucky because, so far, n
o damage to my heart has been found. So I really am off to see the Wizard (the doctor), the Wonderful Wizard of OZ (UCLA Medical Center).

My last tweet of the day:
@SelenaMKI If I only had a heart... Just checked my voicemail ... new concern about my heart based on March MRI. Need to go for echo & f/u with cardio.

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