Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Best Gem from My Husband

Writing ResolutionsImage by Tojosan via Flickr

I realize that this title might mislead you to thinking that I am going to be talking jewelry. I guess I could do that, because my husband has given me some very nice gemstone rings, earrings and necklaces over the years. But my intention with this post is to write about what my husband has to say about New Year's resolutions, which turns out to be a gem of wisdom.

You see, my husband doesn't believe in New Year's resolutions. "People never keep them, so what is the point," he says.

Initially I balked at his disregard for resolutions, but now I seem to be coming around to his point of view.

For starters, New Year's Resolutions seem to be all or nothing affairs. It seems that once they are broken, resolutions go out the window. A more practical approach in the face of setbacks and stumbles would be to keep going and not giving up.

Then there are the shear number of resolutions that some take on at the beginning of the year. Deciding to make more than one big change may set you up for failure. Moving at a slower pace and breaking the process down into small, doable steps better lends itself to developing new habits.

It also seems that resolutions aspire to unrealistic expectations and ideals. For example, losing weight so you can fit into a bikini at 40 something or organizing your home so that it looks like a picture out of Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Figuring out what is realistic and best for you might be a better use of your time.

A missing step seems to be connecting resolutions to what one really wants from life. To quote the FlyLady:

"Self-discipline is remembering what you REALLY want. When you can consistently remind yourself in loving ways what you REALLY want, you will fulfill your dreams."

Which begs the question, 'Why don't we spend time at the New Year contemplating what we really want instead of making a list of resolutions we inevitably won't keep?'

I think I am going to take my husband's advice this year. No New Year's resolutions for me. Instead, I am going to spend time this January contemplating what I really want from this New Year and new decade and how I can consistently and loving keep these goals in mind each and every day.

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