After my cancer experience in 1988, I convinced myself that men would never find me attractive and I would never have a boyfriend again. My evidence for this belief: 1) my boyfriend at that time dumped me a month after my cancer diagnosis and 2) I felt like some kind of weird science experiment---hairless from chemotherapy and wearing a wig, yellow and fatigued from Hepatitis C and in premature menopause.
But my friend Robert was still around and I enjoyed spending time with him. He even accompanied me on a trip to San Diego to visit a graduate social work program and I decided to have some fun and rented a red convertible Mustang for the trip. It was shortly after that trip that Robert did the unexpected: he confessed his love for me and told me he wanted to start dating. Taken aback, I said, "No, I just want to be friends!" His admission and my refusal lead to some awkward times between us that we resolved by parting ways for a while in late 1990.
By 1995, I'd proven my theory about men and dating wrong; I'd gone out on many dates and I'd even had a boyfriend or two. During the Summer of 1995, when I was coming up on my 30th birthday, I found myself in a funk and experiencing a full-blown early mid-life crisis. One day, I opened my address book and decided to write "thanks for all the memories" and "I'm moving on without you" notes to friends I had not seen or spoken to for several years. One of the recipients of these notes was Robert, who called me two days after I sent the note to him and said, "Just because I haven't talked to you in a while doesn't mean I don't want to still be your friend."
After that, we started hanging out together again. Having him back in my life, I realized how much I missed him and what a really great guy he was. I started having second thoughts about turning him down, so I exercised my female prerogative and informed him that I had changed my mind while on a day trip to Sant

Truth be told, back in 1990 I wasn't ready for him to love me just yet. I also couldn't see that he was the perfect partner for me, simply because he truly loved me and all my health problems didn't matter. He proved me wrong in such a wonderful way and he is my hero for it!
We live a good life together and we are still each others best friend. We have the kind of love and marriage that is for better or worse. Sure we have a lot of fun together, but in the past 11 years we have also had more than

Maybe that makes me Robert's hero, too!
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