Monday, May 31, 2010

My Happy Marriage

19th Sept: 5 years of marriageImage by scribbletaylor via Flickr

Today is our 12th wedding anniversary and frankly, I can't believe so much time has past since Robert and I got married.

We just went to the County clerks office a few weeks ago to pick up our marriage certificate, because somehow we never got an official copy. When we realized we didn't have an official copy, I wondered for a moment if we were really "official" and the thought crossed my mind that we would have to get married again! Which got me thinking that maybe we should have gotten a marriage license when we renewed our vows three weeks after our May wedding, in front of Elvis at a wedding chapel in Las Vegas.

Another surprise came when I reviewed the completed certificate. I thought we had been married by a captain of a ship since we got married on a Hornblower Dining Yacht in Marina Del Rey, California. Turns out, the ship's captain was actually a minister in the Universal Life Church. Who knew?

So in honor of our 12th wedding anniversary, I am completing this Happy Marriage Meme. Enjoy!

Q. How did you meet your husband?

A. 1984, at a dorm party in Hedrick Hall on the UCLA campus. Robert accompanied his friend to the party, a guy I met on my freshman year dorm floor and who would later become my first serious boyfriend in college. Robert and I became friends and remained friends long after that boyfriend dumped me a month after I was diagnosed with leukemia.

Q. What first attracted you to him?

A. His sense of humor and the way he really listened to me. Robert made me laugh and made me feel important.

Q. How did you know he was the one?

A. Robert actually wanted to start dating in 1990, but I turned him down. I wasn't in a very good space then, just two years after my cancer treatment. We lost touch for a while after that, but when I sent him a note around my 30th birthday saying I was moving on and thanks for all the memories, he called me two days later and said, "Just because we haven't talked in a while doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend." So we started hanging out again and I could tell that he still wanted to date me. Impressed with his genuine feelings for me, that were unchanged despite my initial rejection, I changed my mind about dating him and I haven't regretted a moment since.

Q. How long have you been married?

A. Today we have been married for 12 years!

Q. What’s something you learned about him after you were married that surprised you?

A. When we started living together, I asked Robert if he loved my pet cats and he said no. I admit I was disappointed with his response. Then I started observing him with the cats and could tell he really liked them. But when I kept asking if he loved them, he kept denying it. One day, a few years into our marriage, he told me, "Yes, I love the cats, but what you don't know is that I have been telling them I love them behind your back for a couple years now." When I asked him why it took so long to admit it, he said, "Loving cats? That's just crazy stuff!"

I think he'd probably say that same about loving me too!

Q. What do you argue about the most?

A. Money.

Q. What quality in him do you admire most?

A. His faithfulness towards me is the quality I admire most of all.

Q. What is the hardest part about being married?

A. Accepting that Robert has the right to set limits with me and say no.

Q. What’s the best part about being married?

A. The best part of marriage is companionship. It is comforting to know I have someone by my side. Together we help each other get through the tough patches and enjoy the good times. Life isn't so bad when you have someone to grow old with you.

Q. What’s the one piece of advice you’d give to other wives about creating a happy marriage?

A. I think it is important to marry someone who is your friend, first and foremost. You want to pick a partner who you really enjoy spending time with and someone you really like. What works for us is sharing a lot of the same interests, enjoying each others company and always managing to have fun when we do things together.
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1 comment

Anonymous said...

After reading this I went looking for our marriaghe certificate and I could only find the one from a little chapel where we renewed our vows. I never thought about it before. Maybe I better get an official one too.