Five Flu Survival Tips for the Chronically Ill

Fourteen days ago I got the flu from my husband.  Seems the virus has invaded his workplace and many of his co-workers are sick too.  Of course, instead of staying home and taking care of themselves, some of his co-workers continue to go to work and spread the flu to others! 

I know it was serious this year because my husband actually took sick time and stayed home. 

Unfortunately for me, it it pretty much impossible to avoid getting sick when you live with someone who has the flu. 

Tip #1: Get a flu shot

Yes, I did get a flu shot this year.  Personally, I am thankful that I did, because here in California, this year's flu outbreak is serious.  The flu has killed almost 200 people this year in my state and is hitting the 18 to 49 year old age group the hardest.

In the past, I have debated over whether to get the flu shot or not.  My reluctance stemmed from a flu shot I got back in 2007 which resulted in a massive migraine headache about an hour or so afterwards.  Looking back, I think the real source of the headache was that the injection was made into a trigger point, which aggravated it and caused the headache.  Now I ask the nurse to poke around first and select a site that isn't too painful.  This strategy has prevented a repeat post-flu shot headache.

Talk to your doctor about the pros and cons of getting a flu shot.  Because if you have pre-existing medical conditions like me, getting the flu can be serious, even life-threatening. 

Even with the shot, you can still get the flu like I did this year.  But I believe getting a flu shot this year prevented me from developing a more serious case of the flu and helped me avoid flu-related complications and hospitalization.

Tip #2: Get your family flu shots too

This year, my hubby had a "light bulb" moment.  "I should get the flu shot too, should I?" he said to me.  "Yes, you should," I replied.

While I am grateful he (finally) had this insight, secretly I just wanted to hit him over the head.

The flu is contagious. That means it can be passed from person to person when the virus becomes airborne through coughs, sneezes and even just talking to someone.  Plus if people touch their noses and mouths, they will transfer the virus to their hands -- and our hands touch almost everything around us.  Once you get the flu, you can spread the infection for 5 to 7 days.

So perhaps the best thing to do is convince those around you to get the flu shot too.  It might be hard to convince them, but don't give up trying.  Your family needs to know that the flu shot helps create a barrier around you that can keep you healthy.

In the past, my hubby said, "I don't get the flu and I have never gotten a flu shot."  Clearly that didn't happen this year...which has lead to his change of heart.

Tip #3: Slow the spread of the virus

Things like hand washing, covering your cough or sneeze with a tissue and disinfecting surfaces can help prevent the spread of the flu.  Using hand sanitizer when you are out and about might be helpful too.  Training yourself not to touch your face with your hands, while hard to do, can prevent the virus from getting to where it likes to live. 

The problem is, getting the people you live with to be conscientious about doing these things too might be hard.  And the alternative, spraying down every surface of your home with disinfectant on a daily basis, might not be practical, affordable or good for you.

What would be most helpful is if people who were sick, especially those running a fever, would stay home and rest for a few days. 

Tip #4: Antiviral drugs may help

When taken during the first 48 hours after you get the flu, antiviral medications can lessen symptoms and speed your recovery.  But you also need to know what the flu symptoms are and be able to see your doctor right away to get a prescription. 

In the past, I have talked to my doctor at the start of flu season and gotten a prescription ahead of time, "just in case."   Somehow I forgot to have this discussion with my doctor this year.  Guess it's time to create a recurring task in my calendar so I don't forget next year! 

Tip #5: Get your Vitamin D in the normal range

I know that taking supplements to get my Vitamin D level back into the normal range had made a HUGE impact on my immune system.   Not only have I avoided more colds and flus, when I do get sick, my symptoms are much less severe. 

A rheumatologist first tested my Vitamin D level back in 2005 and discovered it was low, but I didn't begin to treat it in earnest until a few years later when the test was repeated.  I am sure that rheumatologist tested me because there is a link between low Vitamin D levels and pain.  You can read more about Vitamin D supplements reduce pain in fibromyalgia sufferers at Science Daily.

I wish I could tell you that taking Vitamin D has helped my fibromyalgia pain.  It has not.  But I am pleased that I don't get sick as often and as badly as I did before. 

Based on my experience, I'd suggest you ask your doctor to check your Vitamin D level too.

I hope you have found these tips helpful.  To learn more about what you can do about the flu, check out CDC Says “Take 3” Actions To Fight The Flu .

DISCLAIMER:  This post is intended to convey general health information and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult your health care provider to make sure these tips are right for you.

The Emotional is Just a Tiring as the Physical

I know it is Thursday.  But the truth is I am still recovering from last Thursday.  Finding out my aunt passed away, after getting a blood transfusion earlier in the week, on top of coping with a painful new sore in my right nostril and dealing with the ongoing side effects from my Hepatitis C treatment, quickly wiped me out.

I hate when that happens...

I also hate how I continue to underestimate just how draining dealing with the emotional can be.

Dealing with the death of my aunt was a huge emotional upset to process.  And as loss often does, this recent one brought up feelings from previous losses and got me thinking a lot about my family too.

It's ironic that the whole blood transfusion ordeal earlier in the week had already gotten me thinking about my deceased dad and how his blood transfusions had literally saved my life during my cancer treatment 24 years ago.  Now I was losing the person who, in the years since his death, had become an important living link to his memory and legacy for me.

Besides the thoughts of my deceased dad, I also thought about my siblings, of which I have three.  My living family is not as easy topic for me: you see, my own siblings choose not speak to me.  I know that at the core, it is a legacy they inherited from our abusive mother.  What I cannot understand is why they choose to perpetuate it, when all I want to do is heal and move beyond it.

All these heavy duty emotional issues aren't exactly what I want to be feeling as I continue to struggle with the hard part of Hepatitis C treatment.  Ah, but life can be cruel like that.  You can't always control when life delivers your next shipment of lemons...

As for my aunt's story, in the days before I began my Hep C treatment, she was hospitalized for a serious infection that required emergency surgery.  I got to speak with her afterwards, at which time it looked like she had turned the corner and would be alright.  She would need to go to a rehabilitation center for three months for wound care, but everyone was optimistic she would make a full recovery.

So when my cousin called me a week ago today to tell me her mother died, well we both just cried together between the spoken moments of shock, sadness and why.  When we finally hung up the phone, I couldn't help but keep crying, grieving my missed opportunity to speak with her one last time.  You see, just the day before, my cousin had emailed me, telling me she was doing OK and giving me the number for the rehab facility so I could call and check in on her.  Needless to say, I never got a chance to do that.

I know that when I do too much activity, I risk getting flared-up.  What I constantly underestimate is how draining emotions can be on my energy too, especially when they hit all at once like they did last week.

Now I guess I could have put off dealing with my feelings.  Except that experience has taught me when I ignore or suppress my emotions I make things worse, not better.  No, despite how draining it was to deal with them in the moment, it was better to feel my feelings so they could work themselves out and then dissipate.

Given my limited energy right now, it is no wonder I am feeling both physically and emotionally drained!

So as I slowly journey back to my more usual state of mind, I am going to be extra gentle with myself and give myself more rest to help my recovery from these recent emotional upsets.

And as for those pesky unresolved issues that were dredged up last week, I choose to ponder those further when I am in a better physical place to handle that kind of energy drain.

Want to be a member of Team Selena? 
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Related articles

• Getting Through the Hard Part of Hepatitis C Treatment (ohmyachesandpains.info)
• My Hep C Treatment: A Pit Stop at the Emergency Room (ohmyachesandpains.info)
• Hepatitis C: The Facts (ohmyachesandpains.info)

Pep Talk: Rediscovering That You Are Loved

Lately I haven't been feeling the love much.  I've been so preoccupied with my health care plans for this year and finding new doctors to replace the other doctors who have fallen off my team that all I have been feeling is a whole lot of stress lately.  Plus I have a feeling that some of the medical procedures I've undergone in the last few weeks have put me off kilter, which has only served to make me more of a Grumpy than a Happy.

So with Valentine's Day quickly approaching, I figured I might as well try and reconnect to the love in my life.  So here I go...

Getting in Touch With the Love in My Life

You know, rediscovering the love in my life was at first surprisingly difficult to do.  I mean, it's easy to say "I have love in my life," but when chronic illness locks you away like a fairy tale princess in some old, dark, dingy and forgotten castle, it's hard to remember who loves you, let alone what love is. It's just too bad a kiss can't break the spell of chronic illness!

No wonder I can't feel the love.  Chronic illness is the ultimate love buster.

Yes, I'm guilty of letting my chronic illnesses run the show lately, hence my current predicament.  Now that I have identified the problem, I definitely need to do some damage control and tap into the healing power of love.

Step One: Act "As If"

Since I was having a hard time feeling the love, I decided it was time to "fake it 'til I feel it."  So I made a positive twist on that old blackboard punishment, you know the one where you write a single phrase over and over again until it is permanently stuck in your brain.  Only I made it fun and poignant by writing I am so loved on a beautiful piece of digital art I happened to find over at the Microsoft Office website.  Here it is again below:

Then I really made the message stick by declaring it publicly.  I took that piece of word art I created and made it my Facebook cover image. 

Step Two: Fall Back in Love with Myself

I know when I let chronic illness take over, it has a sneaky way of interfering with my self-esteem and sense of self-worth.  Solely focusing on my chronic illnesses can really make me feel bad about myself, which makes it hard from me to feel or acknowledge anything good.  It is a dangerous vortex that can suck me down and drag me under in mere seconds if I am not careful.

So what can make a girl feel good about herself again?

I'm sure there are many answers to that question, but my answer was in a new tube of Mary Kay lipstick in the shade Really Red.  It gave me the opportunity to have some grown-up dress up fun trying out a new look.  I took some picture too, which, much to my surprise, turned out quite well!  Take a look:

Step Three: Write a Love List

The first two exercises were a good start, but I found I wanted more tangible proof of the love I received from others.  Now of course my first thoughts were of my pets and my husband, because they are the people that interact with me on a daily basis.  But they aren't the only ones who love me, so I waded through the fibro-fog and searched my brain for people I didn't interact with on a regular basis.  This was a little more challenging, but I put my thinking cap on and started by acknowledging these five people:

• my friend Dina who makes room in her busy schedule to spend some precious time with me
• my friend Beth who keeps in touch with me, even though I haven't been so good about keeping in touch with her
• my friend Cyndie who recently told me that knowing me has made a big difference in her life
• my friend Colleen who keeps telling me I am her hero for enduring so many trials and tribulations with aplomb
• my mother-in-law Kay who has heart-to-heart conversations with me and taught me how to can tomatoes last summer

I stepped back and pondered my list.  In doing so, I verified that I am so loved.  I also realized that I didn't need a lot of names on my list, because being well loved by just a few people was quite enough indeed.

Now here is the weird thing: ever since I started this list a few days ago, I find myself adding to it.  It's like a snowball effect.  I started with just five people, but once I got rolling, I started remembering more and more people who love me, past and present.  The more people and love I reconnected to, the easier it was to truly feel that I am so loved. 

Take the "I Am So Loved" Challenge

Now that I have given you some ideas about how to reconnect with love, I am going to challenge you to rediscover that you are loved too.  Don't let chronic illness make you feel nothing by grumpy.  Try my steps or create some new ones of your own!

I want to hear all about the love in your life and how you work to feel it, experience it and appreciate it despite your life with chronic illness. 

XOXO,

Bits and Pieces: A Sunday Extra Edition

Extra Warmth by somadjinn

Things have been a bit crazy around here.  Thankfully I find myself enjoying a little pause in the action this weekend, so I thought I'd take the time to make up for some missed posts during the week and write a weekend update.

My Family

I got a phone call eight days ago from one of my Aunts back in Illinois. One of my eight cousins died on July 8th from what appears to be complications from type 2 diabetes. He was only 42.

As you know, I have type 2 diabetes too, so the news kind of hit me sideways. Granted, our situations are different, but still it gave me pause. Whenever someone in my family dies, like when my mother died of colon cancer or my dad died of Alzheimer's, I can't help but wonder, "Could that happen to me too?"

My Hands

Earlier this month, I followed through on a recommendation from my visit to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona and saw an orthopaedic hand surgeon here on Los Angeles.  He confirmed the finding that I have significant carpal tunnel symptoms in both hands and that surgery can be a fix for my condition.  This past Thursday I scheduled surgery for my right hand on Wednesday, August 31.

Now my challenge is to stay focused on how much this might help me pain, instead of getting sucked up into the anxiety a pending surgery creates.

My Sleep & My Diabetes

Have I mentioned that I have been using a very low dose of Seroquel, prescribe by a sleep doctor, to help me get better quality deep sleep for a while now?  Unfortunately, this medication is known to cause problems with blood sugar.

Due to my ever increasing Hepatitis C viral load, I've been having more and more problems managing my blood sugar. It's gotten to the point where I contacted my endocrinologist asking if I needed to start a second medication in addition to Victoza.  This week I decided to take a drug holiday. Lo and behold, my blood sugar has dropped from between 180 and 200 to 140 and 180 fasting in the morning. Seems stopping this medication might be the right direction to move in.

I am worried that in the long run this is going to negatively impact my sleep, but I do have a new medication to try from my neurologist that might be able to help.

My Blog

I decided a few months back I wanted a blog make-over. I also decided it was time to hire a real blog designer to help me with this task. My project got off to a really rough start, but I made some changes and hired a new designer.

I am now working with Katie Lane of DreamUp Studios who is making the process a breeze and I am so excited about my upcoming blog redesign. I've loaded a couple of things onto my blog today to give you a sneak peek of things to come.

If you are thinking of hiring someone to redesign your blog or website, create a logo or draw a custom illustration, I strongly encourage you to head over to DreamUp Studios and take a look at the awesome things they can do for you too.

The Holiday Blues & What Matters Most

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I admit I miss the holidays of my childhood.

I have fond memories of making the "over the river and through the woods" trip to my Grandma Ann's home. Once there, I spent the whole time by her side, helping her in the kitchen and in return being bathed in her attention and affection.

I remember her helping me feel warm, loved and special during the holidays.

The meals were hardy and home-cooked. I can still see everyone seated at the dining table, passing serving bowls full of food. After the meal, I know there were presents, but I cannot recall a single one. For what I remember the most is my family, together, under one roof and every one getting along.

It was truly a magical time.

Then at 16, my Grandma died and the holidays devolved into something quite different.

Now family members were fighting at the dinner table and openly unappreciative of a meal that didn't meet their expectations. Individuals started making other plans or not extending an invitation to certain family members. Slowly, my family started falling apart and drifting away from each other.

We lost our matriarch: the glue that kept us together, the person who quelled our disagreements and magician who maintained order amongst chaos.

For me, it was a process of adapting to change, leaving a sheltered childhood behind and learning about the adult world. I discovered a reality where people are not always kind to each other or agreeable to table their disputes long enough to enjoy a holiday meal together. My early adulthood memories of the holidays became about disagreements, distance and disownments.

It seems like as we all get older, the holidays seem to lose their wonder and splendor. And let's be honest with each other too; the truth is the holidays can be a very stressful time.

Just think of all the tasks, chores and To Do lists that mark this time of year. Then layer on the subtle and not so subtle messages society sends us this time of year: buy the perfect gift, be merry and jolly, set the perfect table and act like you don't have a care in the world. Add on top the woes many of us face today: chronic illness, physical limitations, financial problems and family disagreements.

What is a person to do?

My suggestion to get yourself back into the holiday spirit is to ask yourself what matters most.

My fondest holiday memories are about the people in my life. My most precious recollections are about spending time with them and doing the little things, like helping in the kitchen, sitting at the table enjoying a meal, relaxing on the sofa watching TV and posing together for an impromptu family photo. Those memories are about putting differences aside, letting troubles melt away for just one day and focusing on enjoying the moment and their company.

Even during Christmas 2004, a truly terrible time, when I had just begun my journey with chronic pain and my beloved Dad had just passed away three days beforehand, what I remember most is the comfort I felt just having my family around me. Yes, even with my heart heavy with grief, pain and fear and shedding quite a few tears throughout the day, it's the people next to me that I remember most.

I invite you to try an experiment with me. If you are having a hard time and you just don't feel up for this holiday season, try connecting to what matters most to you and place your efforts and attention there. See if readjusting your focus makes a difference in how you experience the holidays. Please let me know if you find this strategy helpful.

History Repeating Itself

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Yesterday when I wrote about emotional cutoff and my three siblings. What I didn't mention in that post was my family's history of emotional cutoff, which truly deserves this post of its own. It's quite amazing what I have pieced together on just my mother's side of the family alone. Since the participants are all deceased, it seems like the most appropriate side of my family tree to explore...

I should start with the comment that impressed upon me that getting along with my siblings should be important to me. The comment came from my beloved Grandma Ann. She offered it to teenage Selena as a piece of advise, a pearl of wisdom, with what I believe was the intention of helping me navigate the waters of adulthood. She said to me, "You should try and get along with your brother and sisters, because in the end, they are all you will be left with."

What motivated her to say this to me?

My grandma grew up with many siblings in Minnesota. I am not sure of the exact number and the genealogy that provides this information is currently hopelessly lost under a pile of papers. (Note to self: get help cleaning up the house.) The number aside, what I remember from my childhood is snippets about how there was a lot of conflict among those siblings that resulted in cutoffs. In fact, some of my grandma's siblings when so far as to make sure the siblings they no longer had contact with received copies of their wills after they died that stated they were being deliberately written out.

Then there was my Grandpa Herbert's side of the family, Grandma Ann's husband. I knew my Great Aunt Myrtle, my Grandpa's sister. What I didn't know until I was a young adult was that I had a great uncle too. His name was Edward and he died at age 50 in 1951. No one talked about him when I was growing up. My mother mentioned him once, saying that he was cutoff from his siblings and that his surviving wife and children moved to Northern California.

Most of all, perhaps my grandma could see the beginnings of the rifts between us grandkids before her death in 1981. It's no secret in our family that there were two camps: my mother's versus mine. My siblings frequently changed sides between the two, manipulated by my mother. My dad avoided the conflict by retreating to the backyard garden. I could tell my grandma was frustrated with her only child's parenting style and seemed almost helpless to do anything about it. What my mother was doing was tearing us siblings apart; what my grandma hoped was that we could find a way to stick together.

I have learned that overcoming multi-generational family patterns of behavior is impossible for me to do on my own.

It's funny how, as I put this in writing, I suddenly feel absolved of my perceived failure to overcome this. I really wanted to put my grandma's advice into action, but I know as an adult that the task was not one I could accomplish without the cooperation of my siblings. I still believe her advice is the truth. Our siblings are the last remnants of family we have after our parents and grandparents are gone. Our siblings move through our entire past, present and future in a way that no one else can or will. Which makes losing them along the way to something like emotional cutoff seem so fundamentally wrong.

While I understand the wisdom and the motivation behind my grandma's advice, it was never something I could achieve on my own. I recognize now that it's not a failure on my part if my siblings choose to avoid their unresolved family issues by cutting off contact with me. As long as I continue to work on my own issues and remain open to my siblings should they change their minds, I can take comfort that I have done all I can do to prevent history from going down the same path one more time.

Dead to Me

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It must be the time of year, smack dab between Mother's Day and Father's Day, that has me thinking about my family, the people I grew up with and the people who raised me.

Both my parents are dead. We buried our mother in 1999, after she died of metastatic colon cancer at the age of 61. Our dad passed away in 2004, a few days short of his 71st birthday. But truth be told, he left a long time before that due to Alzheimer's disease.

That leaves my three younger siblings, who are sort of like dandelion seeds blown away by the wind.

The truth is I should just let them go. Each, in their own time and in their own way, have come to the conclusion that they need to live their adult lives without any contact with their siblings. I struggle to understand their reasons, of which I can only make educated guesses, which ultimately leaves me with more questions than answers.

If I am really honest, I probably could have predicted this outcome based on my cancer experience. For example, when my three siblings were tested to see if they could be a bone marrow donor for me, one said that they would have to consider whether to give their bone marrow to me if they were a match. No one matched, eliminating this dilemma. Another sibling made fun of me when I started wearing a wig to cover my baldness. There were rumblings in the family that the reason I got cancer was because I was "burning the candle at both ends" and because I was partying in the dorms at college. Only one sibling came to visit me in the hospital on a regular basis, accompanying our dad; the other two were MIA. Instead of bringing us together as a family, my cancer diagnosis tore us further apart.

I know what they said and what they did back then really had very little to do with me and everything to do with them. Sure, it hurt me. But I can excuse their behavior and overlook their comments because they were young and ill-prepared to handle their older sister's life threatening illness.

But as the years have passed, I've kept hoping that they would overcome the baggage of our collective past and make amends so we could move on together.

I know that people who cutoff from their parents, siblings and other family members due so because of their own unresolved emotional issues. Unfortunately, avoiding their family of origin doesn't make those issues go away. In fact, they are very likely to let those issues play out in their marriages, families and friendships, in essence creating situations where those scenarios play out again ... and again ... and again.

This only intensifies my sadness, as I am here waiting to resolve those issues with them when they are able to do so in a mature, honest and forthright manner.

The last time the four of us where in the same place was at our father's funeral. We were all there at the cemetery, watching as they interred our father into the wall of the mausoleum. I often wonder if this was the very last time we would all be together. In which case, the irony has not escaped me--a cemetery would be the perfect setting for our last rendezvous, especially since they have all decided that they are dead to me.

The Best Way to Help

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Yesterday I talked with a friend of mine about her brother who was recently released from jail and is now living in a halfway house. My friend really wants to help him and feels like other family members are turning their backs on him. My friend thinks that the prison experience changed him and he is now ready to do things differently with his life. My friend wants to be positive and give her brother a second chance.

The question is, what is the best way to help?

Upon reflection after our conversation, I think is this the best advice on the subject:

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

What exactly does this mean? Here are three interpretations from Wikipedia:

• Knowledge is the best charity.
• To learn a lesson is a far better reward than to receive a gift.
• It is better to know how to help yourself than to beg from others.

I've faced my own issues with wanting to help family members and I know I have gotten it wrong. My first impulse was to give them money or things to meet their needs. What I learned is that my charity prevented them from coming up with their own solutions to their problems. My charity created a dependence on me as the provider of quasi-solutions. What I have realized through these experiences is that the most helpful things I gave were suggestions about information, resources and referrals that helped them learn to help themselves.

I've also learned to divest myself from the outcome. If they chose to follow through on the suggestions and referrals I provide, well great. If they found the information I gave them helpful, that's wonderful. At the same time, I needed to firmly remind myself that they make their own choices in life and I needed to trust that they would find the answers to their questions if they just keep looking.

The truth is that if someone I love really wants to change their life, they will figure out a way to do it. All they really need from me is emotional support. Like a lighthouse in a storm, being a constant in their life while they weather their tempests is the best thing I can "do" for them.

For my friend, I realize that this whole prison episode in her brother's life has placed him in a new and different situation. It is all part of him dealing with the consequences of his actions. Now he has new challenges to face and he hasn't quite figured out how to deal with his new situation. He is asking for handouts now because he hasn't figured out how to meet his needs on his own yet.

I know this because my friend told me a story that shows her brother can tackle challenges. When they met for dinner over the past weekend, he told her how he used to scavenge in fountains for coins when he was homeless. He stated that he could collect $30 to $40 dollars a day doing this. Apparently he learned this skill from the group of homeless people who were his companions.

While not conventional (or legal), it shows that he is capable of being resourceful, learning from others and thinking outside the box. Seems to me if he really wants to change, he will figure out a way to do it. As my friend pointed out, he needed to be resourceful to live on the streets for as long as he did.

I know I wasn't able to convey this message in my conversation with my friend yesterday. I am sorry for this and will have to try again today. I hope I can help her see that all she needs to do is be there for her brother and support him while he learns to master whatever changes he wants to make in his life.

I think there is no better way to help another person than allowing them to figure things out for themselves.

Never Underestimate the Power of Human Contact

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
-- Leo Buscaglia

I spent time with my Aunt Sandy these past two days; her travels from Illinois to points West brought her and my Uncle Rich to Los Angeles Tuesday. I miss my Dad, her oldest brother, who passed away in 2004, so I welcomed the opportunity to finally meet her and her husband and spend some time together. Yes, our get-together Tuesday evening at Dockweiler Beach was our very first meeting!

She told me she ALMOST didn't call me ... she was afraid I had my mind made up about her based on what other family members say about her. Her main mission was to come and pay her respects at my Dad's grave site so she could say her goodbyes. I'm glad she DID call me. We hit it off and spent as much time as we could just being together during the two days she was here.

I have so few older family members now; I feel an emptiness in my life without them. To me, knowing I have older relatives gives me the assurance that I have someone to turn to when I need advice, perspective or some comfort. I try hard to be like a sponge around them, to soak up all their bits of advice, knowledge and wisdom from their lessons learned.

So after a meal of grilled rib eye steaks, baked potatoes, sourdough rolls and steamed vegetables (veggies courtesy of my container garden), the visiting commenced. First, I listened and she talked. Then she listened and I talked. And the funny thing is, in the matter of just a few hours, we discovered we have a lot in common. We parted feeling like family, like all those years of not knowing each other didn't exist. The lesson I was reminded of, once again: never underestimate the power of human contact.