Monday, March 5, 2012

Can You Feel the Love? I Can, Thanks to You!

I know I spend a lot of time here talking about ALL my chronic illnesses, and then I ask you to leave comments, head over to my Facebook page or become one of my Hep C Treatment Supporters.  That might leave you with the impression that doing all this stuff is easy for me.

Would you be surprised if I told you this is actually hard for me?

Like a lot of you, I sometimes feel stigmatized by all my health problems.  I really don't want to be labeled "sick" and I certainly don't want to deal with all the baggage that comes along with that label.  Sometimes I think having invisible illnesses is a double-edged sword: sure I can pass for healthy, but sometimes that doesn't really get me what I need to cope and thrive.

I am not oblivious to the reactions of others. I get it that "healthy" people don't really want to know the details of how you really are.  I can see how uncomfortable they get if you talk too much about your health problems. I often find myself walking that razor thin line of 'appropriate vs. over' sharing...and wishing I really didn't have to worry about this at all!

Deep down, I would much rather be talking about a whole bunch of other things, like the stresses of daily life and making it in this crazy world.  Because you know there is so much more to me than just being a sick chick.  Sure, I try to include some of the other facets of my life into my blog, but in the past few years chronic illness just hasn't given me a break and, well, here I am.

And if I am really honest with you, I should admit that chronic illness has changed my experience of "normal" life in some pretty fundamental ways that really can't be ignored.  It often leaves me longing for "normal" things and feeling like I really don't fit in.

But I am also a risk-taker at heart.  And I'm not a girl who likes to be labeled and boxed.  So over the past several years, I have been putting more of chronically ill self out there, sharing more about all the ways chronic illness has shaped and molded me into the person you see before you today.

So when I decided to purposely ask for your support during my Hepatitis C treatment, I had to expand the borders of my comfort zone yet again.

The Bible says "Ask and it will be given to you..."  But when you are sick, you can find yourself in a position where it feels like all you do is ask for help.  Let's not forget that asking for help is HARD--for everyone, but especially for those of us who are sick.  I mean, who wants to come off as always being needy or pushy? 

So despite a lot of good reasons not to, I took a risk...and now I am really feeling the love!

You have come through for me BIG TIME and I am feeling so much support and gratitude that it is actually bringing tears to my eyes.

Here is the most recent example from today:
168 Days of Treatment...  What is that in terms of numerology? Let me share with you my findings:

168 Days.  Let's break this down: 1 + 6 + 8 = 15. 1 + 5 = 6.  Six.

Twenty-four weeks of treatment. Let's break that down, too. 2 + 4 = Six.

You may not know this but the planet Venus rules the number 6.  Venus, the goddess of harmony and love. Harmony and love that I, with all of your friends, family and supporters are sending you during this trial in your life. 

During this hardship I hope every time you see the number six -- on a clock, in passing, hell, even on the panel of the microwave -- I want you to know that it is your power number for this time and it stands for love and harmony, which you have in abundance!
What an amazing way to think about my treatment!

This is just one example of the many, many ways you are blowing me away with your support.  

What can I say?  You all are just awesome.

So for those of you sitting on the fence, afraid to ask others for the help you need, let this post inspire you to just do it.  I bet you'll be pleasantly surprised by all the love that is out there waiting for you...including some from me too.

Want to make a BIG difference
by doing something super quick and easy?  
Support me during the 168 157 days
of my Hepatitis C treatment!  

Sign Up Now!

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Migrainista said...

Love this post! I've been thinking a lot about this lately...though it hasn't quite solidified in my head yet.

Mo said...

Selena, I love that numerology stuff....I don't understand it...but I love it! Hope today is a "6" day!

Pam said...

Hi Selena, I hear what you're talking about! I've been there! I've stopped by to hopefully, cheer you up a bit. I've been presented the Liebster Blog blogger award for inspirational blogger with fewer than 200 subscribed followers. I have no idea how many subscribers you have but I do know you inspire me.:0)To receive this award simply, visit my blog, copy and paste the award on your blog, and then present it to five other inspirational bloggers.

Hang in there with treatment and you can talk about your health with me, any time.