Where #SavePetSociety Is Taking Me....

“It may be that all games are silly. But then, so are humans. ”
~Robert Lynd

I'm not quite sure how to write this post without sounding like a complete lunatic, but I will give it a try anyway.

Over the past three months, I have gotten swept up in a protest movement to save an online Facebook social game.

Yes, that's right, I said a game.  A sweet little game called Pet Society.

Back in 2009, Pet Society appealed to me because I got to create my own pet, and you all know how much I really, really, really love pets.  Then I got to go visit other Facebook friends' pets and complete other in-game activities to earn coins.  With the coins I bought clothes for my pet and furniture and other items to design my pet's house and gardens.  I collected items and traded items, decorated and redecorated rooms to my heart's content and changed my pet's looks and clothes too.

In this game, my pet Miss Hiss could be whatever I wanted her to be.

What I discovered along the way is that Pet Society was a wonderful little world where all the pets were always smiling and always laughing. Sure, when you went to go visit a neighbor, there was an option to fight, but fights always ended with the pets laughing and making up.  There was an optimistic and carefree atmosphere in this game, something I often find hard to replicate and hold onto in real life...especially in today's world.

I believe there is truly something magical about Pet Society.  I admit that perhaps it is hard to explain exactly what that is to someone that didn't play this game.  On the one hand, it reminded me a lot of playing with my dolls when I was a girl, only better since everything was online and virtual, which meant no cleaning up after I was done playing.  On the other hand, the game revolved around and reminded me of all of the important things in life: friendship, love, fun, imagination and creativity.

And when I played Pet Society, it offered a distraction and respite from my life with daily, unrelenting chronic pain.

We all know that change is part of life -- people, things and states of being all seem to come and go.  So I guess on April 15th, I could have just accepted the fact that the game was closing on June 14th and decided to enjoy the remaining time I had with my pet Miss Hiss.  But then I found this Facebook group called Please Save Pet Society, and the next thing I knew, I was working with 32,000 people from all around the world to #savepetsociety.

I am still a sick chick.  Nothing has changed there.  But suddenly through this protest movement, I find myself with an opportunity to make a difference that fits with my life as a person with chronic illness.  To participate, I CAN sit on my recliner in my pajamas in my living room on my laptop computer.  My wonky sleep schedule isn't a problem and neither is my need to take frequent breaks or use my speech-to-text typing program.

The other very odd thing about all of this is how everything has come together surprising well when I have worked on tasks for the group.  For example, I called Electronic Arts (EA) in April and without much fuss got connected right away to someone there who I have been working with for almost 3 months now.  I have also networked on Facebook and Twitter and found contacts and resources that have helped our cause tremendously.

Quite frankly, I don't understand why this is so. The only explanation I can come up with is that the Universe wants me to be involved in this.  Weird, right?

Along the way I have been handed pieces of a puzzle, pieces that needed someone to put them together, and apparently that person is supposed to be me.   And when obstacles have blocked my way, I have found ways to surmount them and keep going, as if someone has been clearing the way for me.

This hasn't always been smooth going and there has been many times when I wanted to just walk away.  But then, as if the Universe really does have a plan for me, I see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel that helps me find the energy and strength to keep going.

Yes, I have temporarily abandoned other things in my life, like this blog.  This crusade has taken up a lot of my energy, leaving me with less energy to do other things.  I feel badly that this has affected my other activities and relationships too.

But I do see these as temporary sacrifices that I am making so I can see this protest through to the end.  This is, after all, a once in a lifetime event, and I do feel oddly compelled to be a part of it.  I hope you all can see and understand this too.

Because in the end, wouldn't it be all kinds of awesome to be able to say that this sick chick was able to help bring back a beloved and cherished game to a million players all over the world from the refuge of her couch?

*fingers-crossed*

But if doing this makes you think of me as a silly human being, I'm OK with that too.

Here is where you can see what I have been doing as a part of a big team of other Pet Society players and fans:

*NEW* petition - sign and share, share, share! http://chn.ge/13MVq8c at Change.org

www.PleaseSavePetSociety.org
www.facebook.com/groups/2SavePetSociety
www.facebook.com/PleaseSavePetSociety
www.twitter.com/2SavePetSociety
www.YouTube.com/user/PleaseSavePetSociety
www.facebook.com/WeBoycottEA
http://instagram.com/2savepetsociety/
https://pinterest.com/2savepetsociety/
http://2savepetsociety.tumblr.com/

And check out this video with 2,800 views that I created for #savepetsociety too:

Is Chronic Illness Making It Hard for You to Believe In Yourself?

Welcome to another Question of the Week.

Several people in my social circles have been writing and talking about self esteem lately.  The conversations have run the gamut, from "I admit I care about what other people think of me." to "If I can do it, you can. I believe this with all of my heart."

What I have taken away from these conversations is a renewed appreciation for my ability to believe in myself.  Let me explain...

Chronic Illness Can Take a Toll...

I think chronic illness can take a real toll on your sense of self.

I admit there have been plenty of times where I have doubted my judgement, my view of reality and my self-worth when faced with all the baggage that comes with a life filled with ongoing health problems. Those moments have often come after a difficult encounter with another person, like a less-than-helpful medical professional or an uneducated healthy person, who has just questioned whether I am truly ill and/or in need of treatment.

I just don't get why these folks need to make it hard for me for no apparent reason. 

Then there are those moments when the loved ones around me spew out that stray hurtful remark or judgmental comment about my chronic life.  It's those moments that can slap me right in the face and send me reeling.  I'm always discouraged by how I can suddenly feel all alone in my struggles, like no one understands or can support me.

...But It Can Also Change Your Perspective

I love how my friend who cares about other people's opinions also said, "I may not let it hurt me, or change my course- and certain people's opinion of me is insignificant- but, in general, of course, I care."  As her peer, I appreciate the maturity and wisdom in that statement.  I too feel the same way: I care about my interactions with other people, but I also choose if I let someone else's opinion of me hurt me, change my mind or hold any weight.

Then I realized that living with chronic illness for the last 7 1/2 years has helped me believe in myself more.  I've achieved this by learning to take better care of myself by unselfishly putting myself first.  Most of the time I don't let what others say or do ruin my day or my mood, because that kind of stress isn't good for me, my chronic illnesses or my efforts to manage them.

When it comes right down to it, what I think, feel and believe are the most important things to me.  Period.

So What Do You Think?

Is chronic illness making it hard for you to believe in yourself?  What specific situations or people make it difficult for you? What do you think you'll need to do to turn this around? How can I help make that happen for you too?

Please share both your struggles and successes in this area by leaving a comment here or over at the Oh My Aches and Pains! Facebook page.

A Pretty Pink Holiday Surprise at the Mall

Pretty girls dressed in pink at the mall.

Oh, to go shopping at the mall!  I don't have to tell you it's that time of year again...or what a workout it can be if you live with chronic illness.

But who knew, every once in a while, pretty pink surprises happen, when you least expect them, at the mall?

I discovered a viral holiday video yesterday and wanted to share it will you.









I really enjoyed watching this video and I hope you will also.

I also made an interesting observation and felt some real appreciation for the creative minds behind the scenes while I was viewing it.  You see, I absolutely LOVED how the producers of this video included women of all shapes, sizes, ages and colors in this video.  I even watched to see if the dancers included some buxom beauties and was pleasantly surprised to see them as part of the troupe too.

As a plus size woman, I have to say that this video really helped me feel good about myself AND the holidays, because going to the mall to find clothes that fit when you are ample can often be a very frustrating experience.

Right about now some of you may be thinking that the solution for me (and everyone else who is carrying around extra pounds) is to lose weight.  I won't disagree with you in principle, but in practice this has been extremely hard for me. My chronic illnesses aren't helping me to be able to exercise like I should and they are even changing my biochemistry to promote weight gain.  At times, this can be extremely discouraging.

So when I see something in the media that celebrates women AS THEY ARE I am so grateful.  Images like these go a long way to counteract the tendency to feel bad about ourselves when we don't meet the unrealistic and unattainable standard of female beauty set in the media.

So kudos to T-Mobile for serving up a pretty pink holiday surprise at the mall that helps all women feel comfortable about their bodies.  I have to say this was a really special holiday gift.

By the way, the video was filmed at the Woodfield Mall in Schaumburg, Illinois. You can read more about the making of this video at the ChicagoNow website.

This post is sponsored by T-Mobile.

Reflection on My First Thanksgiving After Cancer Treatment

One of the first holidays I celebrated after finishing my leukemia treatment back in 1988 was Thanksgiving.

Back then, I was in pretty rough shape.  You see, it wasn't just that I was worn out from completing four courses of heavy duty chemotherapy from January to July. I also endured a bout of acute non-A, non-B hepatitis in August, which turned my eyes and skin a sickly shade of yellow, had me puking my guts out for a week solid and then eating baby food for several weeks after that.

It was hard to believe that acute hepatitis could knock me on my ass harder than a week of chemotherapy infusions. Plus the fatigue I experienced while I was recovering from it all was just so devastating.  This was the first time in my life that I felt so wiped out that I could barely do anything. 

So having made it through eight months of cancer treatment and a month-long ordeal with acute hepatitis, I was bound and determined to celebrate my good fortune on Thanksgiving 1988.

Unfortunately, it seemed that no one else in my parents' home was as invested in celebrating and eating a traditional Thanksgiving meal as I was.

So despite my profound fatigue, I volunteered to make the Thanksgiving meal since apparently no one else would.  It was a real struggle.  I spent most of my time sitting at the kitchen table doing all the prep work.  But I wasn't going to let my residual health problems get in the way of a good, home-cooked meal. (By the way, I had Hepatitis C, confirmed by a blood test when it first came out in 1992, so no chance I could give that to them through food preparation, in case you were worried about that.) 

And since I was the one cooking, I decided what everyone else was eating.

One of my favorite cookbooks at that time was Jane Brody's Good Food Book and she had a recipe for Potato Stuffing (follow the link for the recipe.)  Since my energy was quite limited, I decided this was the perfect compromise between making stuffing and making mashed potatoes.  Plus reading the recipe, it sounded quite delicious to me.

Needless to say, everyone who came to the dinner table that evening hated the Potato Stuffing.

But you know what?  I didn't give a turkey's butt end.

I was grateful to have, so far, beaten cancer.  I was grateful I was still around to cook, even if I was physically handicapped by the aftermath of the previous nine months of dealing with a life-threatening illness and its treatment.  (To be accurate, it actually was actually two: I learned much later that the acute hepatitis could have killed me too.)  I came to the table with gratitude in my heart and a new appreciation for my family too.

So if they wanted to be petty and complain that they didn't get the traditional stuffing they wanted, after passing on making or even helping the girl who just had cancer and acute hepatitis make dinner, well then just screw them.

I enjoyed my dinner.  I embraced my second chance at life.  It was just too bad my family was so focused on the Potato Stuffing that they couldn't join me in celebrating my hard-fought personal victory over cancer.  

In the esteemed words of Sandra Boynton, my favorite greeting card illustrator back then, my motto moving from that day forward was "Don't Let The Turkeys Get You Down."

In retrospect, I now know Thanksgiving 1988 was just a preview of coming attractions in regards to my health, or chronic lack thereof.

I've now perfected the art of preparing a small but still traditional Thanksgiving meal while sitting down at the kitchen table.  After all, I have had the last seven chronically awesome years to practice, practice, practice.  And pace.  And rest.  And spread the preparation over several days.  And schedule lots of recovery time afterwards.

Now, when I sit down at the table to eat, I have my ever grateful husband by my side, who is always thrilled when I am able to cook for him, even when the best I can do on Thanksgiving is heat up a pre-made meal from a local restaurant or grocery store. 

You know, I would have made that delicious Potato Stuffing again this year if I hadn't somehow misplaced my Good Food Book cookbook somewhere along the way from 1988 to now.  I bet my hubby would have loved it!  Oh well.  There is always next year...

My Advice: Pick Your Battles

Image via Wikipedia

I got a reminder today of the importance of making good choices. Like deciding that life is too short to fight every battle that comes your way. Yes, today I got a refresher course on the saying 'Pick your battles' ...

Apparently, I committed a faux paus with an acquaintance and got read the riot act via email. I knew I didn't cause her any real harm and making a mistake in this situation truly wasn't a big deal. I tried to apologize and explain my position in a short, sweet and polite response, but it was clear she just wanted to be outraged and indignant about my mistake.

So I just deleted the email and left it at that.

The wiser I get to life, the more I realize that there are just a lot of people, situations and objects that aren't worth getting worked up about or worth fighting over. These fall roughly into the following categories:

1. Circumstances I can't do anything about or I have no control over.
2. Affairs that are none of my business.
3. Stuff that is truly 'no big deal' when compared to really important things in my life like my health, my relationships and my core values.
4. Incidents that just need to be let go of, because engaging in a conflict over them just isn't worth it.
5. Disagreements that can't be solved by arguing about them.
6. Challenges and provocations presented by others that don't deserve a fight, or even a response, from me.
7. Situations were fighting over opinions, or whether one is right and the other person wrong, just doesn't matter.
   

What can I say? I am working on letting all the trials, tribulations and turmoil around me roll like water droplets off a duck's back. With so many real, big and important things to concern myself with, I just don't need to get sucked up into other people's drama.

Perhaps Dale Carnegie said it best:

"Any fool can criticize, complain, condemn, and most fools do. Picking your battles is impressive and fighting them fairly is essential".

How do you decide which battles to fight and which to walk away from? Do you think this gets easier with age or maturity? What is your best advice on how to pick your battles?