Question of the Week: What Could You Do If You Had Less Pain?

Did you know that September is Pain Awareness Month?

I've been so preoccupied with my recent carpal tunnel surgery that I almost missed it.  Luckily September isn't over just yet.  So I am devoting these last five days of the month to posts about different aspects of living a life with chronic pain.

In preparation for these posts, I interviewed Maggie Buckley, a board member of the American Pain Foundation and learned about the brand new In the Face of Pain website.  I'll be writing about this new resource that can help us all learn to be better advocates for ourselves and others living with pain later in the week.  I'll also be sharing some of the thoughts Maggie discussed with me about the current state of pain care today.

She also invited me to check out the "If I Lived in a World with Less Pain, I Could..." Campaign on Facebook which I joined today.  Please consider attending this event on Facebook too.  They are asking us to submit a video, photo or written statement on the American Pain Foundation wall that explains what you would be doing if you lived in a world with less pain.  (Oh, and don't forget to "like" them too.)

Watch this video to get inspired:



I have to admit that the very thought of living with less pain really brings a tear to my eye.  Living with less pain would be an absolute miracle.  I pray one day it really happens for me.  Until it happens, it just makes me sad to think about all the things I have given up or cut back on because I live with chronic pain.

Writing this list was a hard thing to do, but here is just the beginning of what I could do if I lived with less pain:

• bowl with my husband in bowling leagues again
• walk my dogs every day
• exercise more
• need less help getting things accomplished
• do a better job of cooking, cleaning and getting things done around the house
• drive myself to my doctors' appointments and everywhere else I wanted to go
• enjoy doing arts and crafts project
• get more things done in my garden and yard
• go back to work
• become a foster parent and/or adopt a child

In short, I would have more energy, get more done and have more fun.  And I wouldn't have to say "no, I can't do that" quite so often.

What about you?  What could you do if you lived with less pain?  While I would love for you to share your answer here or over at the OMA&P! Facebook page, I want to encourage you to get involved with the American Pain Foundation campaign by posting your answer to this week's question on their Facebook page.

Best wishes for a week with a little less pain.

Not All Dreams Come True

Image via Wikipedia
One of my favorite dreams is from my childhood, inspired by Walt Disney films I am sure. I am a princess dressed in a white ball gown with gold accents. I am waiting for my prince to come. I know that he is on his way and I am feeling excited and happy. I envision him in my mind, as he arrives dressed in a white military style suit with gold trimming atop a white horse. But in my dream, he never arrives.

More recently, I dreamed that I didn't have chronic pain anymore. I was very disappointed when I awoke to find it wasn't true. As if to correct a mistake, the next night in my dream I couldn't remember what it felt like not to live with chronic pain. I woke up and realized that was true.

Dreams are devious things. The ones that happen when we are asleep are a curious mix of the real and the symbolic, with a dash of the events of the previous day mixed in. Nothing is as it seems and trying to figure out what they mean is the subject of many, many books.

Then there are the dreams we create in our minds when we are day-dreaming. You know, when you focus on your wishes and desires and convince yourself that those are things that you want, you need and you can have. The dreams we create to deal with or escape from the boredom, frustrations and limitations of our daily lives.

Some day-dreamers say that if you can imagine it, you can achieve it. Sure, we all know people who seem to have attained their dreams: dream job, dream house, dream car, dream marriage. There are tons of inspiring stories, from fairy tales to documentaries, about people obtaining their dreams and lots of self-books that show us how to do it.

But lately I find myself asking, 'Are all dreams truly achievable?'

You see, my life with chronic illness seems to be thwarting some of my dreams. Using all these self-help techniques and strategies aren't helping to make them a reality. Some of my dreams don't seem to be possible in light of all the things that life has thrown my way, like illness, financial constraints, adversity, reality and limitations.

Which makes me wonder if the deficiency lies with my dreams or me, the dreamer...

In reality, there are just as many stories about unfulfilled dreams as there are about dreams coming true. In fact, some of the best stories I have read involve things like unrequited love, missed opportunities, unforeseen tragedies and frustrated ambitions. In these messy moments of anger, frustration, disappointment and sorrow, I find myself connecting to the people in these stories much more than with the ones who live blissfully in their perfect, dream-fulfilled worlds. Like the heroine in one of my favorite childhood stories, the original The Little Mermaid.

As much as I would like to live my dreams, I am constantly reminded that this is not a perfect world. Life can be unfair and difficult. Life doesn't promise us a huge house on a hill with a rose garden. So while day-dreams may serve a purpose, like being a refuge from the onslaught of real life to a source of inspiration when we are feeling down, I accept that not all dreams can and do come true.

I guess that revelation should make me sad. But instead I chose to focus on how truly special it is when, despite living in an imperfect world, one of my dreams does come true.

My Plans for a Sensational Summer

Image by Lin Pernille ♥ Photography via Flickr

Ah, summertime and the living is easy. I love the summers here in Southern California. I love the sunshine, the extended light into the evening hours and the warmer temperatures. Summer lures me outside of the house, even on my bad days, and into my garden. I also gets me thinking about vacations and walks down by the beach in Oxnard or San Diego.

So as I think ahead to the summer months, I've already started a list of things I want to do during my favorite season:

1. Try new things in my container garden, like growing tomatoes upside down, planting some different vegetables, like okra and Brussels sprouts, and getting my garden planted earlier in the season.
2. Work with my dog Brunswick so that he passes the Canine Good Citizen test.
3. Start working on handmade Christmas gifts in July, like amigurumi dolls and loom knitted hats, gloves and scarves.
4. Try some new medications with the help of my neurologist and try a new chiropractic treatment for my fibromyalgia.
5. Get some help to: 1) get the metal frame gazebo I bought a while back at The Home Depot finally erected on my backyard patio; 2) pull the wicker furniture out of the garage and place it onto the patio to create the outdoor room I've been wanting; 3) clean up the BBQ and start grilling up some great summer meals.
6. Break out the T-Tapp More Rehab Program DVDs I purchased and try out this new approach to exercise.

While all these activities build on things I already do, I think I need to do something new, different and out-of-the ordinary this summer too.

So while I am laying on the grass in the backyard, looking up at the clouds, birds and airplanes passing by, I am going to start dreaming up a new life for myself. Yes, I am going to let go of the past and all the dreams that frustrate me because they never came to fruition. I am going to replace those old dreams with new dreams born of experience, understanding and a renewed sense of possibility. My goal is to shake off the last vestiges of a life that was not meant to be and make deliberate steps away from an existence where I just mark time until somebody heals me.

Yes, I am going to do what I like to refer to as a "Madonna": I am going to reinvent myself ( '80s clothes, hair and accessories optional.) I am going to have a summer of adventure, rediscovery and prospects. From my vantage point, lying on the grass in my backyard, this summer the only way to go will be up! The sky will be my limit, full of promise and possibilities. I will pick myself up and start over.

If I can reinvent myself and come away with new goals, new prospects and a new sense of purpose for my life by the end of September, what a sensational summer this will be.

Dreams of My Own 'Mar Vista Green Garden'

Image by MaureenShaughnessy (aka MontanaRaven) via Flickr

When I bought my home 16 years ago, I had no idea I was coming to live in a community that would become synonymous with 'going green.' Apparently many of my neighbors in my community of Mar Vista in the City of Los Angeles decided to conduct their own 'green' experiments. It's spured a whole Mar Vista green movement, which has really taken off in the form of solar panels, rainwater harvesting, low water gardens and lawn replacement. There is even a Mar Vista Green Committee that is part of the Mar Vista Community Council.

Last year marked the first annual Mar Vista Green Garden showcase with tours of about 55 local homes and community garden sites. I participated in the tour last year thanks to my hubby and friend Cyndie. I saw artificial turf, landscaping using native plants, a no-water front yard sustained by just rainwater and the learning garden on the campus of Venice High School. I took lots of pictures, business cards and quick notes about what I liked and wanted to include in my own front and backyards.

All that viewing got me dreaming about my own garden renovations. How I so want to ditch the plain concrete driveway with the strip of grass down the middle in favor of driveway pavers surrounding a strip of no-water artificial turf. Yes, I am dreaming of new driveway designs, and patio designs too. I would love to transform my front yard into a beautiful low water native perennial flower container garden with a winding paver walkway, artificial turf plots for my dogs and a fountain, all surround by low fencing.

Yes, I dream of my own front yard transformed into lovely fenced-in, private dog park.

The next Mar Vista Green Garden Showcase tour is set for April 25th and I can't wait. Since I only visited a handful of gardens last year, I am looking forward to visiting a new set of 5 to 10 sites that I didn't see last year. As for making my garden dreams a reality, I'm not sure how long that will take. But with a very modest-sized urban parcel of land to contend with, I am consoled that a green makeover won't cost me an arm and leg. Which, come to think of it, is probably how a lot of my neighbors can afford the costs associated with going green.

What are your green dreams? Share them when you leave a comment.

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Please Don't Crush My Blogging Dreams!

I feel compelled to write this brief blog post as there seems to be something wrong today with the Blogger platform where my blog is hosted.  I won't go into the nitty gritty details, but I just want to say this:


Dear Blogger,


November is NaBloPoMo, National Blog Posting Month, where I have made a commitment to post an entry on my blog every day for 30 days.  I am on the official blogroll (look for me under the Health category.)  This is a contest and there are prizes being handed out to select participants who complete this task.  

In short, this would be a really bad time for you to be experiencing technical problems.  So pretty please, fix the problems I reported and go back to normal operations.  

I short, please don't crush my blogging dreams!

Sincerely,

Selena of Oh My Aches and Pains!

P.S.  Siobhan Quinn is a great Blogger employee in my book.  When I tweeted:  Just a bit freaked out due to a Page Element problem with my @Blogger blog. Don't they know this is National Blog Posting Month?!?  &  My blog is loading very slowly & I had to remove some widgets to improve load time. What's up @Blogger? Does anyone there work weekends?, she responded:  @SelenaMKI very sorry - we're looking into the issue.



11/9/09 - Update:


From www.knownissues.blogger.com: 

"Layout" rearranging for users with customized templates is currently broken. We are investigating the issue. — latest update on Saturday, November 07, 2009

Labels: layouts, outstanding, templates

 
 

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Perhaps Tomorrow I'll Think About the Long-Term

Image by Fozzeee via Flickr

Most days, I try to stay focused on what is right in front of me. Each day challenges me to figure out how to make the best of the limited energy I posses. For some time now, I've concentrated on daily, weekly or short-term goals, mostly because I remained uncertain about my chronic illnesses and their impact on my life.

I have been living this short-term kind of life for almost five years now. On many levels, living this kind of life works for me. But I am feeling like something is missing ... and that something is long-term hopes, dreams and plans.

In my life before I became disabled, I set immediate, short-term and long-term targets and goals. I asked myself where I wanted to be in five years, ten years, twenty years. I listened to my inner self and let it guide me to the people, places and things I was meant to encounter. I dreamed about my future. I made plans.

On the one hand, among many other things, my inner self lead me to my career in social work, my house and my husband. On the other hand, health problems post cancer treatment, adding up in number and burden as the years have gone by, have dogged me along the way as well. What helped previously was using a combination of flexibility, ingenuity and persistence in the face of health problems to make my plans come to fruition. I achieved most of my targets and goals, not all, but many.

Now with managing multiple chronic illnesses a big part of all my tomorrows, I wonder if my inner self can still lead me to the people, places and things I am meant to experience. I wonder if the hopes, dreams and plans I abandoned in 2004 can be transformed into fibro-friendly hopes, dreams and plans. It seems ironic that some of those old hopes, dreams and plans have increased in their importance to me just as my rational mind has determined that they might be extremely hard to impossible to attain.

Just as I feel myself slipping down the slope of despair, I remember this quote from Randy Pausch:

"But remember, the brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people."

You'll have to excuse me now. I need to figure out how to climb over, walk around, tunnel under or simply smash through my brick walls.

Yes, perhaps tomorrow is the perfect day to start thinking once again about the long-term.

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Just Thinking About Tomorrow

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I admit that the first thing that came into my head, when I read that the NaBloPoMo blogging theme for August was tomorrow, was the song Tomorrow from the musical Annie.

I know that my focus needs to be on living in the present moment, today, not in the past and not for tomorrow. However, I believe that the promise of tomorrow is what makes living today possible. Tomorrow represents hope: hope that if today isn't going well, tomorrow might be better. I wake every day believing that if I work hard today, I will reap the benefits tomorrow. And on days when I am flared-up and having problems, I go to bed hoping that I will wake up in the morning feeling better.

In other words:

Yesterday is but today's memory, tomorrow is today's dream.

~Kahlil Gibran

So everyday this August, I will write about my hopes for the following day, my tomorrows. It will be interesting to explore my hopes and dreams, as well as my short-term, day-to-day plans.

So to set the mood, I've included a YouTube video of Tomorrow from Annie. Here are the lyrics as well:

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

See you tomorrow!


Shop for Annie CD and DVD on Amazon.com