My "Bust an Infertility Myth" Blog Post

Today I am participating in the Bust an Infertility Myth Blog Challenge, a National Infertility Awareness Week® blogging event sponsored by RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association.

As I've mentioned in my blog post about the Livestrong Young Adult Alliance, one of the issues facing childhood and young adult cancer survivors is infertility. The radiation and chemotherapy treatments that save so many lives unfortunately deprive many cancer survivors the opportunity to become biological parents. I know this because I am one of many cancer survivors who is unable to have children.

When I signed a consent form for my cancer treatment, it clearly stated that infertility was a common side effects of the treatment I was choosing. As much as I wanted to start a family one day, in that moment I needed to focus on treating a cancer that had a 67% chance of killing me. Back in 1988, there were no fertility preserving options available to me. Even if there were, my cancer had progressed to the point where it needed to be treated immediately and could not wait for me to preserve some of my eggs.

After I completed chemotherapy in August of 1988, I experienced premature menopause. That led to a series of consultations with several different gynecologists to talk about approaches to managing this situation. An unexpected part of those consultations was listening to advice about how I might be able to become pregnant in the future if I so desired.

Unfortunately for me, getting pregnant was the furthest thing in my mind at that time. For starters, I had been dumped by my boyfriend a month after my cancer diagnosis and didn't think that dating was going to be part of my immediate future. I was also dealing with some body image issues that were the result of the aftermath of my cancer treatment and subsequent premature menopause. Plus having just finished chemotherapy, I couldn't quite imagine wanting to subject myself to more medical procedures anytime in the near future.

When I finally found a gynecologist I felt comfortable with, I started on hormone replacement therapy (HRT). I remained on HRT for about six years until something strange happened on the day of the Northridge earthquake, January 17, 1994. In response to the earthquake, I got my period. In and of itself, that wouldn't have been very remarkable, except for the fact that I was in the wrong phase of my HRT to be getting my period. Which led to the discovery that my cycles had returned on their own and after a few months I discontinued HRT.

Which brings me to the infertility myth I am busting in this blog post: just because you are having regular periods doesn't mean you can get pregnant.

Despite full disclosure of my cancer treatment history to my gynecologist, she told me when my period returned that I could get pregnant. Because infertility has been one of the hardest things for me to accept in my life post-cancer, I grasped onto this hope and let myself believe that what she was saying to me could be true.

I became reacquainted with the truth when I was finally ready to start family building with my husband and found myself unable to get pregnant after months and months of trying. I am sure that the infertility doctors I consulted thought it was a bit strange that I was so upset with their diagnosis in light of the information I shared with them about my cancer history and treatment.

It wasn't that I was upset about being told that I was infertile; I was upset because I let myself believe for so many years that I was not.

Today I am choosing a life without children. I still wish that I could have children, however I feel that in my current situation, dealing with several chronic and disabling medical problems, it is impossible for me to be a "good enough" mother at this time. It is my hope that one day my health will get better so my husband and I can pursue adoption as our family building option.

Until then, we offer our home to a collection of homeless pets seeking "furever" homes and lavish them with the love and attention we are able to offer.

To learn more about the real truths about infertility, visit RESOLVE today.

Click here learn more about National Infertility Awareness Week®.

Related articles

• In Focus: Livestrong Young Adult Alliance (ohmyachesandpains.info)
• Matthew Zachary: Childhood Cancer's Forgotten Moral Imperative (huffingtonpost.com)
• Break Cancer: My Young Adult Cancer Experience (ohmyachesandpains.info)

My Routine---Keep it simple; simple is sufficient = KISSIS

Today I am focused on KISSIS (pronounced kisses)---keep it simple; simple is sufficient! I finished answering the 4 questions posed in my post Can Routine Help Me Manage My Fibromyalgia? Those questions were:

1. What are my present pain and fatigue levels?
2. What have I learned so far about minimizing these symptoms?
3. Are my social interactions satisfying?
4. Am I allocating my time optimally to perform health maintenance, do home chores, have a family/social life, and engage in satisfying hobbies?

I experienced an "ah-ha" moment when it clicked that I can be active 2 to 4 hours a day and simply need to keep a running tab each day to stay within this limit. I acknowledged that My Personal Rules and my "Not To Do" list help me manage my symptoms. Though my current situation is not ideal, I have learned to adapt and manage to have a small and simple social life status post chronic illness. And finally, I need to learn to better allocate my time so I have fun AND get some household chores done too.

Now the task at hand is to NOT to get all crazy and slip into information-overload, which is all too easy to do, then get frustrated, start feeling lost and give up. Aargh! Chronic illness sucks! With a brain that doesn't function optimally, a pain-and-fatigue-induced short attention span and not a lot of activity time during the day, I need to keep it simple...

So my first order of business is to start tracking my daily activities and keep it consistently within the 2 to 4 hour limit. My second task is to simplify My Personal Rules, which I will work on tomorrow. So until then ... KISSIS!

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5 Courses to Fix My Life---A Blog Meme

Here are the rules for the meme:

“Devise a list of 5 courses you would take to fix your life. It’s more fun to be in classes with friends, so include them into at least one class. Tag five people to complete this meme as well.”

So if there was a school that offered classes that could help me "fix my life", these are the courses I would be looking for:

1) Home Improvement 10: Do-It-Yourself Home Improvement Seminar

It would be wonderful to be able to fix the things that break and fix-up everything else around the house all by myself. It is so hard to find good contractors and handymen to begin with and it costs so much once you have found someone. My Dad was always so handy around the house and I regret not spending more time with him learning the skills he possessed. I would drag my husband Robert to the class with me, as he is less than handy around the house.

2) Psychology 251: Advanced Seminar in Psychological Manipulation

I know this one sounds sinister, but I promise to use this knowledge for good and not evil! This information would help me unravel the psychological morass of my childhood, prevent family from manipulating me in the present and help me to reset my mind so that I can condition my mind positively. After all, when you act happy you soon will feel happy.

3) Chronic Fatigue and Fibromyalgia Self-Help Semester-in-Residence

I have taken all the available classes and participate in the all groups offered by the CFIDS & Fibromyalgia Self Help group. At this point, what I feel I need is a in-residence program were I live, breath and sleep all the self-help principles I am trying to incorporate into my every day. It's one thing to try to make changes with a group online and another to do the same thing in-person in a residential group setting.

4) Personal Finance 40: Advanced Topics in Personal Finance

This is another class I'd take with my husband Robert. It's not that we don't have a handle on basic money management. Quite the contrary. But in this time of economic downturn, limited and tightening credit markets and the mortgage meltdown, it wouldn't hurt to learn more about personal economics. At the end of the day, it would be nice to feel ahead of the game and not just struggling to get by.

5) UCLA Extension Writer's Program

O.K., this one is actually a real program and I would love to attend classes with my friend and fellow blogger Cyndie of A Writer's Crazy Journey. I want to attend to learn more about the process of creative writing and my goal is to earn a Certificate in Creative Writing in Fiction. I want to start a second career as a writer because it is a work-at-home, fibro-friendly career. While it would be nice to write a national bestseller or a work of literature that stands the test of time, I'd be happy to just make a living writing Harlequin Romance novels!


Thanks to the blog Being Frugal for this blog meme idea. You can read the original post I found here:

Read more: "5 classes to fix my life | beingfrugal.net" - http://beingfrugal.net/2007/10/30/tagged-with-the-5-classes-to-fix-my-life-meme/#ixzz0FvlOC8x4&A