So I am feeling a bit like a slacker, dear readers.
When it comes time to write my blog posts lately, I find myself instead being lured into curling up under a blanket on the sofa and watching an episode of Farscape (my latest guilty pleasure courtesy of Netflix streaming on my TiVo.) Seems I've been extra low on energy in the evenings, with only enough to watch an episode or two of TV before I head to bed.
I have been trying to figure out what in the world is going on with me, then it hit me: I have Spring fever.
No, I'm not actually physically sick; more allergies lately, yes, but not sick. The Spring fever I have consists of being lured outside into my garden during the day by Mother Nature. Like all of the plants and animals around me, I am responding to the call to start moving, blooming and growing.
Enticed by the warmer weather and the sunlight lasting longer into the evening hours, I want to go outside to my "girl grotto" this time of year.
Plus this is the season when I start working in earnest on my container vegetable garden. And with all the distraction over the last few months getting me off to a late start, find myself staying outside longer so I can play catch up in get things planted as soon as possible. Which means I've been pushing the boundaries of my energy envelope, skirting the line between pacing and pushing.
No wonder I am so pooped by the time night falls and I'm back inside contemplating my next blog post.
I've begun to see Spring for what it truly is for me: the beginning of my over-activity season. I'm falling prey to that voice in my brain that says, ' Get out of the house and do more.' Too bad this sick and tired body of mine can't keep up with my mind's desires!
Too bad I'm not a plant. After all, sunshine and warm weather make plants grow and flourish. Too bad spending more time outdoors and planting myself on terra firma does help me build my energy reserves and assist me in accomplish more things during the growing season.
I know for a fact there is no sunshine cure for chronic illness.
Ultimately this means confronting, once again, my reality--there is only so much energy I have each day. If I push beyond my limits, I will pay. Oh the disappointment that results when I compare what I want to do with what I can do.
It is ironic that before, my problem was "so much to do, so little time." Now my problem is "so much time on my hands, so little energy to get anything done." All I can do is laugh at how absurd life can be sometimes and hope that one day these two variables, energy and time, find a way to balance themselves out.
So I've come to the conclusion that I need to re-double my pacing efforts, so I have more energy available to me to keep doing the things I love, like blogging, and spend less time crashed on the couch because I have overdone it. I've got to rein in my Spring-inspired enthusiasm before I find myself all flared up and unable to do anything.
But before I get back to reality, I'm going to honor Spring by taking a moment to imagine just how much I could get done if it was only a matter of shear will, motivation and zeal.
I think that no matter
how old or infirm I may become,
I will always plant a large garden
in the spring.
For who can resist the feelings
of hope and joy that one gets
from participating in nature's rebirth?