Image by Martin_Heigan via FlickrI've been a very bad blogger.On second thought, maybe it's not so much that I'm a bad blogger but a bad planner.
No, upon reflection, I don't think that's quite right either.
Here is the thing: I have been completely overwhelmed and stressed out for the last two weeks. I'm just going through a phase where if anything can go wrong, it will. Just because I'm sick chick who stays at home and does much of her living from her couch doesn't mean there is less stress in my life.
To add insult to injury, fibromyalgia lessens my ability to manage stress. I've come to realize that this is just part and parcel of the fibro-fog that plagues most people living with fibromyalgia. Which means that instead of facing stress cool, calm and collected, stress turns me into a discombobulated mess.
It is not a pretty sight.
I know a healthy me would have handled the last fortnight more adeptly. First she would have taken some time to do some planning. That would have translated into either taking the time to write several posts in advance or deciding to take a week off from blogging and informing her readers of that decision. With her blogging tasks squared away, she would have then turned her attention to the problems at hand and created a specific time and place to deal with them.
Under the influence of fibromyalgia, I found myself distracted, disorganized and disintegrating under the pressure of stressful circumstances. Despite my best efforts to calm down and get focused, it seemed like every new detail that unfolded only served to get me all riled up again. Along the way I marveled at how fibromyalgia had changed me from skilled at dealing with stress to a totally crumbling cookie.
So when my feared day of reconciliation arrived last Wednesday and my dread melted into relief, I found myself needing to just escaped for a couple days to rest, relaxed and recharge because I was completely and totally wiped out. Like a computer running on battery power, I had gotten to the point where there was no power left and I had no choice but to shut down.
In short, I just needed to get away.
Has this ever happened to you too? Have there been times when life and chronic illness are just too much and you just need to get away?
Let me know when leaving a comment here or heading over to join the conversation at the Oh My Aches and Pains Facebook page.
2 comments
Selena, Don't we all go through this from time to time and get so overwhelmed that we can't functon? And I know how you are, you will write even when you should be resting. I miss when you don't post, even when I don't comment, but don't overdue it please!
MO
I can TOTALLY relate to what you said!! Too many things going on at once cause my mind to go into severe frazzle. The 'old' part of me is looking on with disdain and disapproval, as if to say "You're only cooking 1 meal for 8 people (insert any normal activity here) for crying out loud! What's the big deal?" My fibroself is running a constant balance sheet on energy available and energy spent. It doesn't much for the bells and whistles to start going off because I've migrated into the red zone.
Please, please don't feel bad because you are like the rest of us! It's actually quite helpful to hear how you deal with the reality of it all. If you were able to function without a glitch, I would be wondering if I was just weak willed when the extreme fatique hits.
You provide a wonderful service to us and I am grateful with every post I read.
Take care when you need to
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