Why I Blog About My Life with Chronic Illness

Me, blogging from my couch

I haven't thought about this subject for quite a while, but I am writing about it for a good cause.  When I am done, I will be submitting this post to a blog carnival over at Restoring Quality of Life: the official blog of the Partnership for Palliative Care.

I've done so much sharing here for over 6 years now.  While I was a bit hesitant when I first started, I honestly don't give this topic a second thought anymore.  In fact, when I'm not able to post as often as I would like, I actually feel like something is seriously missing in my life. And from comments I get, I know my readers miss me too when I post less frequently!

So with the power of hindsight behind me, I put my thinking cap on and uncovered 3 main reasons why I continue to share my struggles with chronic illness so publicly. 

Reason #1: To Connect with Others

Ten years ago, I was a very outgoing and social person.  I loved going out with my friends to concerts, dance clubs, restaurants and the movies.  I loved going shopping all by myself for hours at the mall.  I bowled with my hubby in 2 leagues at our local alley, meeting many new friends.  I was someone who didn't mind driving all around town to meet up with friends and visit interesting places!

Ten years ago, I was a clinical social worker with 11 years work experience.  I worked full-time and I interacted with lots and lots of people every day.  At my last position, I even volunteered for the events committee, planning workplace parties and other fun activities with and for my co-workers.

Then 2004, a trip-and-fall accident resulted in the chronic pain and fatigue of fibromyalgia, which took all of these things, and more, away from me. 

Now, leaving the house to do something fun with my hubby or friends is like running a marathon.  It makes my pain worse, it disrupts my fragile equilibrium and it often pushes me beyond my limits.  The unavoidable increase in pain and fatigue makes me feel physically awful and mentally anxious and irritable. In those moments of increased symptoms, I find myself cursing my chronic illness for the devastating effects it has on me.

So I decided to start sharing stories about my life with chronic illness through a blog and on Twitter.  Like a fisherman's net, I threw myself out there to see if I could connect with anyone.  And through the magic of the Internet and the act of sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences in a search engine friendly format, I attracted others to my blog and Twitter account.  Over time, my posts and tweets became my ticket to the online chronic illness community. 

And just like that, I started meeting new people and being social again in ways that fit with my "new" life.

Reason #2: To Share the Illness Experience

When I began my "new" life with the chronic pain and fatigue of fibromyalgia, I wasn't quite sure what to do.  Initially, I looked to my medical providers to diagnose my illness and prescribe some kind of treatment that would get me back to normal.  As the weeks turned into months and the months turned into years, it started becoming clear that my doctors were going to be able to fix me. 

Thinking back to my cancer experience 16 years before, I realized that to live my best life with chronic illness, I was going to need the support, wisdom and guidance of other people living with fibromyalgia and chronic pain to help me figure out what to do next. 

In 1988, I was lucky to find a young adult cancer survivor group after I finished my leukemia treatment.  They helped me make sense of my cancer experience and find the strength and courage to put my life back together after it was so completely disrupted.  I learned that sharing about my illness with other people helped motivate me to turn life's lemons into lemonade.  And listening to the stories of others in similar situations to my own, about their struggles and successes, helped me to accept and master my own illness experience.  Positive peer influence and support for me are magical, life-affirming gifts.

So with this new challenge facing me, I started looking for an in-person support group.  Much to my dismay, I had no luck!  Then I realized that if other people living with fibromyalgia were like me, attending a weekly support group might be a nearly impossible task. 

Then a "healthy" friend introduce me to blogging, Twitter and Facebook.  Wanting to make new friends and new connections, I drove in and gave social media a try. 

Six years later, social media is a permanent part of my life.  I've learned how to ask for support and, in return, give support to others in these virtual groups and forums. I simply can't imagine my life without this unique way of sharing my illness experience.  I feel I am truly part of a community that is accessible, convenient and, most of all, caring.

Reason #3: To Give to My Hubby and IRL Friends Some Downtime

This might seem strange, but having multiple sources of support in my life not only makes my life better, it makes life better for my hubby too.  Because let's be honest: the people who live with us and/or interact with us the most really need to have a break from us and our chronic illnesses every now and again. 

Being the social person that I am, it is in my nature to want to share everything with my hubby and my friends.  I'm not shy about asking for a compassionate ear when I need a little understanding, empathy and support.  But since the illness I am dealing with is chronic, i.e. an illness that I will live with for the rest of my life, there is a real risk of burning out my support system from overuse.  I care about my hubby and my friends too much to let that happen.

With support needs that are sometimes big and definitely ongoing, I know I need more than just a few people "in real life (IRL)" to lend me an ear when I need one.  Thankfully I've found the extended support network I need in the virtual communities that social media is able to create and support.  I can access this support any time, quickly and easily, through my computer or smartphone.

Final Thoughts

As with all things in this life, social media isn't perfect.  I've encountered misunderstandings, miscommunications, hurt feelings (mostly unintentional), meltdowns and even the occasional fight.  Social media can be intimidating at first and there is definitely a learning curve.  I found it easiest to observe more and interact less at first, a.k.a. be a lurker.  But since most of the rules are literally unwritten, I found the "watch and learn" approach worked best for me.

That said, for the most part, I've found the chronic illness community to be wonderfully polite, supportive, accepting and caring.  But then again, most of us participating in this community have a shared purpose: to live our best lives despite chronic illness.  I think this really helps keep the conversations and interactions focus and helpful.

Now if only I could find a way to meet all my lovely new friends living with chronic illness in-person!

Thoughts on Sharing About My Health in Social Media #NHBPM

Why yes, I do a lot of sharing about my health in social media.  What I share and how I share it has definitely been a "decide as I go" process because, by nature, I've always been a "learn by doing" kind of person.

Let me share this evolution with you as well as my current guidelines and rules for how I share about my health, my life and my relationships on my blog.

In the Beginning

When I started writing online in 2006, I did so with the intention of informing others about what was going on with my health problems and my quest to get diagnosed, treated and get better.  I used a blog as an alternative to sending out emails to everyone whenever I had an update to share.  I initially used the now defunct AOL Journals for this purpose.

AOL Journals wasn't what I would consider a true blogging platform like Blogger, which is what I use today.  To me, it had more of the feel of a personal journal versus a blog and the posts I wrote there were more like emails: updates about my health, musings about my life, funny forwarded emails and random pictures, sayings and thoughts. In that regard, I guess you could say it was similar to how people use tumblr today.

I'm pretty sure my AOL Journal was public.  But back then I didn't know or even care about how many people came to visit.  I'm not even sure if my posts there could be brought up using a search engine.  And if I am remembering correctly, I think the only comments I ever got were from my family and friends.

The Switch to Blogging

When I switched to Blogger in 2008, I brought this "blog as journal" point-of-view with me.  When I started writing in earnest in 2009, I didn't have a clear vision of what my blog was going to be about and my posts really ran the gambit when it came to subjects.  At that time I was really trying to develop the habit of writing on a consistent basis, so I often used prompts from NaBloPoMo, the National Blog Posting Month group, which meant sometimes I wasn't writing about my health at all.

As time has moved on, my blogging mission has become much clearer: Let's make life better, together, despite chronic illness.  So I went back and removed some of my earlier posts that didn't fit with my blog mission.  My writing style has changed from journaling to blogging thanks in large part to blogging courses like 31 Days to Build a Better Blog and Content Brew, health blogger webinars sponsored by WEGOHealth, general blogging websites like the SITS Girls and groups like the Chronic Babe Bloggers! over at the ChronicBabe forum.

I guess that is a very long-winded way of saying that, over time, I have narrowed my sharing to my health and those aspects of my life that intersect with my chronic illnesses.

How I Decide What to Share

I always, always, always write about my own personal truth.

Since the beginning, my mother-in-law has read my blog.  She is my most loyal reader and I love her for that.  Knowing she reads every blog post actually helps me in a really important way: before I hit publish, I use her to gauge the appropriateness of my content.  As time has gone on and my readership has increased to include high school friends, former co-workers and my neighbors, my "appropriateness compass" has grown.

I am pretty sure everyone my husband and I know are aware of my blog...and I tailor my sharing accordingly.

Knowing how many people my blog reaches, how it comes up in search engine results and how broadly I promote it on Facebook, Twitter and Google+ means I've developed a greater awareness of how far and wide my words can travel.  That certainly gives me greater pause before I hit the publish button!

Since I am currently permanently disabled and unable to work, I haven't faced the issue of social media and employment.  I guess I'll cross that bridge if and when I get to it.

I firmly believe that what I write here must be things I would be comfortable sharing with someone in a public place, things I wouldn't be horrified or embarrassed about if someone overheard what I was saying.  Which means I don't share all the details about my health and relationships here.

As much as I would like to vent, I choose not to publish my raw, unedited thoughts on my blog.  I prefer to use Twitter, and to a lesser extent Facebook, to share reactions and in-the-moment opinions. While my daily life does influence a lot of my blog posts, I choose to let events percolate in my brain for at least 24 hours before publishing about them.  Then I always strive to focus on the big picture, i.e. lessons or insights I've learned from what happens in my life and health care odyssey.

I always think twice, and usually three times, before I use anyone's name on my blog.  It's an easier decision when one of these things is true:

• the person has a social media presence (blog, Facebook, Twitter, website, etc.)
• the person gives me permission to mention them in a post
• using a name is really integral to the story I am telling

If I choose to mention family and friends, it is by first name only.  Most of the time, I prefer to mention their relationship to me (husband, sister, friend, etc.) rather than a name.

I do use my real first name, but I don't share my last name.  I share that I live in Los Angeles because it is a huge city and knowing that won't help you find me.

I trust that my readers are decent, honest people who aren't interested in violating my privacy or cyber-stalking me.  That said, someone did call me at my unlisted home number to complain about a blog post I wrote...and I am well prepared to handle this kind of situation if it ever happens again.

I only write about someone else's story if they give me their permission to do so, and then only if their story relates to or intertwines in some way with my own.  I do share stories about people I have known who are now deceased; in this case, I make sure I only share basic facts about them when describing the impact they had on my health journey and life.

My Rules for Sharing

In summary, I would say that these are my rules for sharing about my health and personal life in social media:

1. Don’t publish anything you’d regret seeing in print.
2. Don't publish anything you wouldn't say in person.
3. Don't publish anything you wouldn't want the whole world to know or see. 
4. Remember what you publish will go on to live a life of its own, which means you can’t take it back or delete it later.

Can You, and Should You, Live Your Chronic Life Online?

Over the weekend I was reading some articles on social media etiquette.  This was after a couple of weird online encounters which got me thinking about the subject. So I searched to see what others were saying and found some good posts (see Related Articles below).

But as a person living with chronic illness, I was a little taken aback by this rule from the article Rules Of Facebook Etiquette: Tips To Help Keep Friends:

"Social media may be great for sharing and keeping in touch with people but it's not a replacement for human contact."

I understand that for healthy folks this rule might apply.  But for those of us who are sick, can this, and should this, really apply to us?

First Impression

My first thought was, Yes, I would love to have regular, in-person contact with my friends who live in Los Angeles.  This absolutely would be a wonderful and healthy thing for me to do!  If I was able to do this, then social media would definitely be an interim way to connect with friends between in-person visits.

Ah, but only if I was able to do this.

Obstacle #1: My Chronic Illnesses

The first obstacle for me to overcome is my abundance of disabling chronic illness symptoms.  After 8 years, I am doing much better at managing these symptoms.  But managing my symptoms is NOT the same as having control over them, and I still periodically get flare-ups and new, unexpected symptoms.

That makes getting together with others something that happens infrequently; my in-person social life is only an option when I am feeling OK.

Obstacle #2: Transportation

If feeling well enough to see people is the first hurdle, then getting to the place where my friend are at is the second.

This is a problem of logistics and my health really does dictate what works and what doesn't.  So to get together with a friend, these are the conditions:

• If I am able to drive, my friends need to meet me inside the radius of my comfortable driving distance
• If I am unable to drive, my friends need to come to my place and get me, then drive us to our destination

"But there has to be other ways for you to get around, right?" Believe me, I've explored other transportation options in Los Angeles and it is a nightmare.

The bus system in L.A. is overcrowded, slow, not very disabled-friendly and requires more walking than I am currently able to do.  Plus it puts me at risk for heat-related illnesses when waiting at unsheltered bus stops or riding in a crowded bus.  

Paratransit disenrolled me from the program when I told them I had a scooter.  In hindsight, that was a mistake on my part, because a travel scooter is really just the wimpy cousin of the full-size scooter, which is what I would really need to travel around by bus.  I could have appealed and gone back that Summer to re-qualify, but declined since their evaluation center in East Los Angeles is a sweltering hot warehouse space. Why?  Because it doesn't have any air-conditioning!

Other options are taxi cabs and private car services, but they are just too expensive--especially since during the L.A. rush hour it can take an hour just to go just 5 miles.  Seriously.

My Opinion

Wow, let's face it: when you are a sick chick, "getting together with friends" takes on whole new meaning.  It probably doesn't help that I live in Los Angeles either, fondly referred to as the "Car Capital of the World."

That said, I still hope that one day I am able to recover enough so that my health is no longer an obstacle to social interaction.

When chronic illness really limits that in-person option, isn't it nice to know there is at least one place to turn to for social support?  I get it that connecting in social media is not the same as connecting in-person.  But those outside our chronic illness community fail to recognize this as a concern worthy of attention and funding. After all, there are senior centers for the elderly, a place where they can go to socialize and recreate, which provide transportation so they can get there.  Why isn't there a real-world place for adults with chronic illness to meet, socialize and come together?

Online is better than nothing!  I know if I didn't have the option of connecting with others via the Internet, I would definitely feel much more alone, lonely and unsupported.  It fills a pretty important need for me, one that isn't really being met anywhere else.

But enough about me.  What do you think about this topic?  Leave me a comment and let me know.

Related articles 

• The Problem with Social Media and Health - KevinMD
• Social Networks a Lifeline to the Chronically Ill - New York Times
• Rules Of Facebook Etiquette: Tips To Help Keep Friends - Huffington Post
• Facebook Etiquette: How Do I Unfriend Someone? - Mashable

Mission 2011: How I Make Social Media Work for Me

Perhaps the biggest hurdle to getting started with social media is figuring out how each platform works.

Obviously you need to sign up for an account--which sometimes can be a little complicated.  Then you need to figure out how you want to present yourself online.  Next you need to figure out how to find people to connect to and how exactly you go about having "comversations" with them.

Creating A Social Media Presence

One of the first decision you face is if you will use your real name or a pseudonym (like many in the chronic illness community do.)

I decided to use my first name on my blog, my blog's Facebook page and on Twitter.  With a pretty unique name like Selena, I don't really have to compete with others to use my real name.  If you have a more common name, you might find yourself trying to figure out how to make it different from the other Lauries, Marys or Sarahs out there.

I also decided to use a real picture of myself as my avatar.  I chose to do this so that people could see the real me in the hopes that this might help them develop a connection to me.

Connecting to Others

I found my chronic illness community by searching keywords like fibromyalgia, chronic illness, chronic pain and chronic fatigue.  I've also discovered my peers by searching the nicknames they call themselves, like: spoonies, sick chicks, fibromites, chronically awesome and ChronicBabes.

Once I identified a few people to friend or follow, I looked at their friends/followers lists for ideas about who else I might want to interact with.

Luckily for you, if you want to try Twitter, I can make connecting to others there a little bit easier.  I have put all my friends with chronic illness on Twitter into a public list called My Chronic Friends.  I think they are a great group of people and encourage you to follow and interact with them too.

Communicating with Others

To be honest, I just sort of dove in, joining groups and then inserting myself into conversations. Using this tactic, I sometimes got positive results and sometimes got mixed results.

In retrospect, I could have spent more time "listening" to conversations to see how they unfolded to get the hang of things.

What threw me off initially was not always getting a response when I put myself out there.  I learned over time that not all my attempts at communicating will elicit a response from others.  As my social connections grew, I knew others were reading my tweets and posts even if they didn't always respond to them.  Somehow knowing this has become a social connection in and of itself.

Here are some of the ways that I connect with others:

• Contributing to a conversation on a Facebook wall or in a Facebook group
• Having a conversation via Facebook messages 
• Sharing a link, photo or video with others on Facebook
• Hitting the "Like" button on a Facebook page or status message
• Reading and commenting on a blog posts 
• Writing a blog post in support of an awareness day or illness-related event
• Hosting and participating in blog carnivals
• Using Twitter to have any time, anywhere conversation with others
• Participating in Twitter chats, like the weekly #spoonieparty

Building Relationships

Through social media I have learned a lot about other people just by reading their tweets, comments, posts, etc.  In many respects, my interactions online are very much like having a whole bunch of digital pen pals.

I learn bits and pieces about them with every shared communication.  And just like a puzzle, those bits and pieces come together and a fuller picture of each person emerges over time.   

Always Available

The absolute best thing about social media is that people from around the world are always there participating in conversations--all day and all night.  So when it is 5 am and I can't sleep because of pain or insomia (or painsomia), I can always find someone on Twitter who is awake and wanting to chat.

I also love how well social media works with my chronic lifestyle. Social media is always there for me whenever I want it or need it to be.  So when I have the energy and the time, I can connect to other people simply by tweeting, commenting, chatting and posting. 

Final Thoughts

I hope this post has inspired you to try some new ways of connecting with others through social media.  I've also included these links below to some good articles with ideas about how to get started and how others with chronic illness use social media too.

• 10 Golden Rules of Social Media
• 10 Steps to Start on Twitter
• How to get a conversation going on Twitter?
• Social Media Conversation Basics
• 8 Reasons Why Twitter Can Boost Your Happiness
• Does Facebook Boost Happiness — Or Not?
• Getting Low: Helping Others with Chronic Illness
• Social Networks a Lifeline for the Chronically Ill
• Social media brings hope to chronically ill

Mission 2011: Finding Social Support Through Social Media

photo by crirez

My Life Resembles a Commercial 

Have you seen that commercial on TV with the young woman who is trying to get her parents connected on Facebook?  She comments that they only have 19 friends there; meanwhile her parents out mountain biking with their friends.  She, on the other hand, has 687 friends on Facebook and is sitting at home in front of her computer.

I got a chuckle watching that commercial.

Then I went to lunch with a very good friend of mine.  She has been diagnosed with a pretty awful illness, Lymphangioleiomyomatosis (LAM), that one day will limit her ability to do things.  So when I told her how I use social media to connect to other people, she told me she is trying to be like those parents.  She wants to get out there and experience as much of life as she can before her life resembles, well, mine.

We both got a chuckle out of her comment.

My Social Reality

I can't be mad at her for pointing out the obvious.  She is blessed because right now her illness isn't making her mostly housebound and unable to work.  She doesn't spend much time on social media sites because she is busy with real life.

If I was in her position, I wouldn't be spending much time with social media either.

The truth of my current situation is that I spend a lot of my time alone.  I have a very limited ability to participate in social activities because of chronic and persistent pain and fatigue. When I can participate, it takes extensive planning on my part, as well as a lot of assistance from my family and friends to make it happen.

Even then, there is always the chance that I might have to cancel at the last minute because my body won't cooperate.

To be honest, I don't see a lot of my real life, in-person friends very often because my very specific requirements for getting together don't mesh with their lifestyles.  That's just the way it is. 

From Real Life Disappointment...

I guess I knew this was going to happen, which is why when I first was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and chronic pain I made a huge effort to find a weekly in-person support group.  I had such a positive experience with the weekly young adult cancer support group I participated in from 1988 to 1992.  I wanted that same kind of experience again as I began to face a life with chronic illness.

So I searched high and low...and came up empty handed.  

The closest I got was a monthly support group, which I tried for a while. With chronic illness making life pretty unpredictable for myself and others, the group was not well attended.  People came and went, often before I was able to get their contact information so we could stay in touch.  Then when I lost my transportation assistance, which was key to my regular attendance, I stopped going too.

...To Online Friendships

Eventually, I turned to the Internet.  It was actually one of my real life friends who pushed me in the direction of blogging, Twitter and Facebook.  (She is now one of those real life friends I hardly see anymore--yes, that is ironic, isn't it?)

From that initial exposure, I went on to discover websites and blogs that included community building tools like forums and chats that took meeting people and getting support to a whole new level.  Through my blogging, I discovered blog carnivals where I met other bloggers and worked collaboratively with them around issues and themes of mutual interest.

Flash forward to today and I thank the Universe every day that websites like Facebook, Blogger and Twitter exist.

Without them, I would be really lonely...

I have more to say on the topic of social support and social media, so please come back and join me next Thursday when I plan to continue this discussion.

Related articles

• Mission 2011: Friendship Fresh Start (ohmyachesandpains.info)

Social Media: A Source of Fibromyalgia Hate? #lovebeatshate

Image via Wikipedia(Note: Today I am participating in another edition of the Love Beats Hate blogging event. Please check back tomorrow for my weekly Mission 2011 post.)

It hard to believe that social media, my largest reservoir of support in dealing with my chronic illnesses, is also used by people to deny the existence of fibromyalgia and bash people living with it.

I don't deny that sometimes living with fibromyalgia is just bull$#*@! However, I know fibromyalgia is not some made up illness people are feigning in order to qualify for disability benefits, get out of working, be lazy, evoke sympathy from others, etc., etc., etc. So it's hard not to hate back when other people in social media level these and a myriad of other accusations against people living with fibromyalgia.

Yes, I know, there is free speech and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. If this "free speech" really bothers me, of course I can just ignore or block these people and their negative campaigns. I can also interpret these attacks as just another example of the "but you don't look sick" mentality that seems to prevent others from understanding and supporting people who live with invisible illnesses. Which maybe is my cue to do more to raise awareness and educate people about what living with a chronic, invisible illness "looks" like.

But let's be honest. Since there is no way to prove without a shadow of a doubt that someone has fibromyalgia using an objective test, like an x-ray, MRI or blood sample, the door of doubt is open. If the door is open, people will go there. It doesn't make what they say and do online right, but it does unfortunately give them an opening to question and cast dispersions.

While the online fibromyalgia community does its best to shut down these hate sites, pages and discussions, it isn't just individuals online who are prejudice against fibromyalgia.

For example, did you know that many long-term disability insurance carriers limit benefits they pay out to people diagnosed with fibromyalgia? I didn't until I was denied ongoing benefits after two years of being disabled by my severe fibromyalgia symptoms. When I appealed their decision, the long-term disability insurance company didn't even try to build a case denying I had fibromyalgia. No, quite the contrary, they reviewed my medical records and declared that fibromyalgia was my primary disability.

The message they sent me was something like: "Why yes, she is disabled, but unfortunately we don't provide long-term disability benefits for people with fibromyalgia after two years. Sorry." I image them laughing all the way to the bank with the money they saved giving me the shaft.

So when I saw an advertisement on Facebook recruiting volunteers who have fibromyalgia for a study of an investigational blood test to confirm the diagnosis, I wrote the number down. I called yesterday to volunteer and my appointment is on March 2nd. From where I stand, giving two ounces of blood and 45 minutes of my time seems like a small price to pay to help prove that fibromyalgia does exists and confirm without a shadow of a doubt that I have it.

Quite frankly, any efforts made to get the diagnosis of fibromyalgia out of the garbage can and into the realm of cold, hard scientific fact will have my support and, if possible, my participation.

So you see, it's not just love that beats hate. I'm rooting for science to find a way to prove the diagnosis of fibromyalgia and silence the nay-sayers, the discriminators and the disbelievers. Until then, I am hopeful that the power of social media will continue to empower people living with fibromyalgia to take a stand against online hate and send a clear message that bashing people due to their invisible illnesses will not be tolerated.

The Holiday Blues & A Suicide Tweet

Image by christhomson via FlickrPlease note: Today's post is inspired by real life events that unfolded today on Twitter. Identifying information has been removed and tweets are summarized.

A Suicide Tweet

In the early morning hours today, I was made aware by a tweep (a friend on Twitter) that someone had tweeted that she was contemplating suicide. Her previous tweet (aka Twitter message) was that she was lonely and alone for Thanksgiving and wanted people to contact her if they were going to be alone too. Other tweeps were both alarmed and concerned, wanting to do something but not knowing what to do. The tweep in distress was in the USA and the concerned tweeps were in places like the United Kingdom and Australia.

After a few moment of shock and another few moments of contemplation, I decided to get involved and try to help this tweep.

What You Need to Know About Me

I have a sister who lives with chronic depression. I hadn't heard from her in a few years, but in 2003 she called me out of the blue and asked to meet me for lunch. During the meal, she asked me if I would take care of her cats if anything happened to her. This raised a red flag raised and I asked her if she was thinking of killing herself.

When she finally admitted that she was, I convinced her she needed help and took her to the psychiatric emergency room so she could get the assistance she needed.

Trying to Help a Tweet

As I have mentioned before here, I am a retired social worker. While it as not my obligation to get involved in these type of situations, I nevertheless decided that a suicide tweet was a plea for help. I felt compelled to try and respond.

Long story short, through the wonders of the privacy-depriving Internet, I found a way to contact a member of this tweep's family and send them a copy of the troubling tweet. And when another tweep told me the name of the city where they thought this despondent tweep lived, I looked up the number of the police department in that city and called them.

All along, I was corresponding with a concerned tweep in another country. When I reported to them what I had done, I was harassed by another tweep who said that what I had done was wrong and suggested that I was violating this person's right to kill themselves.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Let me be clear. I did not do what I did to be a hero or because I wanted anything in return. I responded to what I thought was a cry for help, in a manner consistent with my training, all along making it clear I was a concerned stranger, acting as a Good Samaritan.

That said, I absolutely did not think I would be scolded, chastised and harass for trying to help. I was completely taken aback, quite shaken and very upset.

Feedback

Despite the criticisms, the people I contacted about this suicide tweet took my reports seriously. I received two call-backs from the police who were desperately trying to find the despondent tweep so they could go out and conduct a health and welfare check. The family member also emailed me back, letting me know they were aware of the situation and that there was a family member with the tweep. When I told the family member that I had contact the police, they agreed to call the officer as well.

Suicide Is an 911 Emergency

Research shows that most people who commit suicide do so in a moment of despair. Many struggle with mental health problems. Many are overwhelmed by their circumstances and in a moment of hopelessness, they think death is the only solution. Troubled and drowning in pain and sorrow, they make a tragic decision that, if they are successful, can not be reversed. They come to an emotionally-charged conclusion that will have a profound impact on everyone they know.

I firmly believe that suicide is not the answer. I believe that people professing suicidal thoughts or communicating that they have a suicide plan are in need of emergency psychiatric treatment. I believe that suicide is a 911 emergency, period.

Taking a Stand Against Suicide

Now that the crisis seems to have passed and I have reflected on the events of the day, I have decided that, presented with this situation again, I would do this again. If someone I know through social media brings to my attention someone's intention to kill themselves, I will stand up and do what I can to alert people who can intervene and help them.

I am taking a stand again suicide. I encourage you to join me.

Resources

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline - (800) 273-TALK (8255)
• National Institute of Mental Health - Suicide Prevention
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) - Suicide (this organization supports family members and friends of those living with mental illness)