More Pain Means Less Everything Else

I've been living with more chronic pain lately and it's starting to show.

My mother-in-law called the other day and asked my hubby, "Why hasn't Selena posted on her blog lately?  Is she OK?"  She wanted to talk to me, but I was in the middle of a task, so I asked if I could call her back.

That gave me time to really ponder her question.

The truth is, I've been in a fibro flare-up for over 18 months now.  I know how it started -- being involved in a car accident last year.  Because getting into any kind of accident when you have chronic pain is probably one of THE worst things that can happen to you.

But then I realized the chain of events that has kept my flare-up going since then.  Things like:

• ongoing dental work, in the form of crowns and root canals, that is causing me more pain. It seems like every 6 months I need another dental procedure! Next up...another root canal.
• an increase in doctor's appointments, which are using up a lot of my available energy. But I feel the visits are an important part of my "get better" plan.
• participating physical therapy, which unfortunately is increasing my pain and fatigue in the short run.  I am hoping that if I stick with it, it will be helpful to me in the long run. *fingers-crossed*

And let me not forget my post-accident anxiety about being in a car.  I am really paying attention to how other people are driving now and it is downright scary sometimes. I'm working on being less hyper-vigilant, but in the meantime, a ride in the car can be quite draining.

Here are some of the other things that a severe pain flare-up can do to us:

1) Any increase in severe pain mean you have less of everything else: less energy -- physical, mental and emotional, fewer good days, a decreased ability to leave the house, run errands and go places, and a diminished capability to get things done. 

2) Any time you have an increase in severe pain, you are forced to cut back on all your activities -- physical, mental and emotional.  The longer the duration of your increased pain, the more you cut back.

3) Deconditioning can be the result of a prolonged reduction in physical activity due to an increase in severe pain. Deconditioning is defined as:

...the loss of muscle tone and endurance due to chronic disease, immobility, or loss of function.

Deconditioning becomes another challenge to overcome on your path to recovery from a severe flare-up.

4) Ongoing pain flare-ups increase the other symptoms associated with your particular chronic pain disorder.  For me, this means more fibro fog, more painsomnia (pain-related insomnia), more fatigue and more numbness and tingling in my arms and hands.

So why haven't I been blogging more lately? 

Clearly my increased pain, fatigue and fibro fog all play a significant role.

But it is also my conscious choice to spend more of the energy I do have on the things that have the potential to help me get better in the long run, like treating my dental pain, seeing my pain management doctor and doing my best to participate in a gentle and graded physical therapy program. Because I want to get back to my baseline, to be a 30 out of of 100 again.  I've been more of a 20 for the last 18+ months and frankly, I'm not happy here.  (See the scale I am referring to here. )

I want to get back to container gardening, crafting, gaming and doing more of the things I used to be able to do a regular basis.  That includes achieving my goal to consistently blog and write too.

So while most normal, healthy people might recover from a car accident in 6 to 8 weeks, the simple fact is, for someone like me living with fibromyalgia, it takes more like 60 to 80+ weeks to recover.  It's the proverbial situation of "adding insult to injury."  When you live a life with chronic pain and/or chronic illness, it just takes more time to bounce back from any added severe stress, injury or trauma.

But I will get there, I promise you and I promise myself.  It is just going to take more time, energy and patience. What keeps me motivated?  Looking forward to less pain meaning more living my life.

How Do You Handle Chronic Illness Setbacks?

Boy, don't you wish that living with chronic illness was easier?

Even when you are doing everything "right," it seems like the littlest thing can upset your balance and suddenly everything can come crashing down around you. Then all the progress you've been making is gone in a flash and there you are, back at square one.

It's in those moments I feel the most sorry for myself. 

I've dealt with more setbacks than I care to count.  That's because I'm not one of those lucky people whose chronic illnesses, once diagnosed, can be corralled and tamed into a reasonable submission.  No, I am one of those people whose chronic illness symptoms have either stayed the same or gotten worse, depending on the time period, despite considerable time, energy and effort to achieve a different outcome. 

Right now I am experiencing a huge setback.  This is the outcome of my choice to undergo Hepatitis C treatment.  And while my current state is not unexpected, it did surprise me with a mother load of anger, frustration and self-pity.  Seems I was pretty comfortable with my solid 30 on the activity scale and so anything less than that has me, momentarily, questioning my sanity and choices.

So what am I doing to cope?

• Recognizing that I currently have just a few precious hours of energy to spend on activities each day.
• Limiting the number of activities I attempt each day and letting everything else just be for now.
• Paying more attention to what times of day work better for me and scheduling activities accordingly.
• Incorporating a rest period after every activity, from 15 minutes to 1 hour.
• Asking for more help and delegating tasks when I can.
• Taking advantage of more time and energy saving conveniences, like frozen meals, takeout and online shopping.
• Napping and sleeping a whole lot more.
• Lowering my expectations to meet my reality and working on being mentally and emotionally OK with that.
• Showing more compassion and understanding towards myself.
• Basking in the love and support others are showing me right now.
• Making sure I do something fun and soul-sustaining every day.
• Praying to the Universe to give me the strength to get my through my current challenge.

So how do you handle setbacks?  What strategies and coping techniques help you deal with a decrease in functioning when your symptoms increase?  Please add to my list by sharing your ideas and thoughts in a comment below or over on the Oh My Aches and Pains! Facebook page.

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Fall Down Seven Times, Get Up Eight

Image via Wikipedia
Did you know that I am in a multiracial marriage? My husband is of Japanese descent and I am of German, Irish and French descent. Being exposed to different ideas, traditions and legends is one of the benefits of being in a multicultural marriage.

This is how I learned about the legend of Daruma and the Japanese proverb nana korobi yaoki, which translates to “Fall down seven times, get up eight”.

Daruma essentially is a wishing doll. You focus on an intention, then color in one of his blank eyes. That's when he goes to work for you, reminding you of your commitment to your goal. When your goal is achieve, you celebrate by filling in his other eye. Read more about Daruma here.

His rolly-polly shape embodies the spirit of the Japanese proverb “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” Knock him over and because of his shape, he'll spring back into his upright stance. (Which makes me wonder if they got the idea for Weebles toys from the Daruma!)

Could my life with chronic illness have a more fitting byline than “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” or a more fitting mascot than Daruma?

Over the past six years learning to live with fibromyalgia, I have endured many setbacks, flare-ups, brick walls, frustrations and disappointments. What has kept me going is persistence and patience. I don't give up when I fall down, I figure out how to get back up. Granted, it might take me a while to work out exactly how I get back up, but eventually I always seem to push my way back to upright.

Plus the many health adversities I have faced in the past 20+ years, like cancer, diabetes, Hepatitis C and infertility, have taught me to reframe problems as challenges to be faced and mastered. Along the way, I've discovered that I'm a girl who is always up for a challenge. I have also learned to how to endure setbacks. What makes this possible is knowing that setbacks do not last forever, especially if I am patient enough to wait them out and persistent enough to get up and move forward again.

Which brings me to one last pearl of Japanese wisdom: tamashii. This is the Japanese word for indomitable spirit, a word used to describe the traits and attitude of a successful warrior.

Oh my, how my life with chronic illness has developed my tamashii!


How do you face the setbacks and challenges of life with chronic illness? Do you have an inspiring mascot or byline? Share your thoughts by leaving your comment below.