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Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Benefits of Being a Sick Chick

Benefit ConcertImage by Corey Tegeler via Flickr


Have I said this lately? Being a sick chick for 22 years of my life has nurtured my personal growth and maturity. Illness has shaped me psychologically and spiritually into the person I am today. While I'm not always thrilled about the places I visit along the way, I've somehow found a peace and confidence within myself that helps me feel O.K. despite ongoing chronic illness.

Sometimes I wonder what I would have been like if I hadn't gotten cancer at age 22. I'm thinking that in a parallel universe there is a Selena that has never had major health problems who might have the answer. I almost want to meet her ... and I wonder if I ever get to be her. (Is she the selfish and self-centered one my mother kept talking about?)

Building on my post yesterday about how I learned to have a mature relationship with my mother, I thought I'd list more ways I have matured and grown because illness was a part of my life:
  • I accept that life is not "all or nothing" or "black and white." I've learned to live comfortably amongst the shades of gray. (Think about it: gray really does go with everything.)
  • I can deal with reality, even if it does bite.
  • If I ask the question "Why?" I need to accept that the answer might just be "Why not?"
  • The only constant in life is change. If I haven't change my opinion, perspective or hairstyle in a while, I better check my pulse because I might be dead!
  • I can get through life's rough patches. I may have to go over, under, around, through or somewhere else all together, but I will figure out how to move on.
  • I recognize that I have no control over a lot of things in life. I guess that should freak me out, but frankly prefer not being in charge all the time.
  • When faced with a situation where I either need to bend or break, I choose to bend.
  • I realize that it is easier to accept other people for who they are than to trying to change them.
  • If I am putting up with someone else's crap, it's because I want to, not because I have to.
  • It's just easier to make the effort to get along with other people, even the ones I don't care for or particularly like.
  • I don't always have to like the people I love.
  • Life is much more fun when you share it with other people, especially the furry ones who don't talk back.
  • I make mistakes and I am not perfect. I can admit when I am wrong and acknowledge that there is always room for improvement.
  • Now that I have broken this lifetime in and have gotten comfortable with it, I refuse to trade it in for anything else, no matter what else is in store for me.
  • I am stubbornly holding onto this life that I have come to cherish until I absolutely, positively have to let go.
Most of all, no matter what, I know that I am a good person deserving of all the love and good things that come her way. So come on, universe, shower me with all the good stuff you've been holding onto for me. I'm ready, let's go!


What do you think? Are there benefits to being a sick chick? Can illness spur personal growth? Leave me a comment and let me know...
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1 comment

Kristen said...

Hi!! It's so nice to 'meet' you! You sound like a woman who's been through quite a lot...but who definitely has her head on her shoulders!! I look forward to working with you at Colloquy Moms!!